Friday, June 21, 2013

Chicken F'ing Nuggets..

Since I became a father there's been one thing that has been consistent in my life.

Chicken F'ing Nuggets.

Chicken strips, chicken nuggets, popcorn chicken. It's all the same, and over the last ten years, they have become a staple in my house. 

As you know, when you become a parent there are certain things you concede. Things like privacy, burning the midnight oil, and sports cars. Most of these things you give up without much of a fight. Then one day, as your child is running from the bathroom screaming your butt cheeks are so pale after he catches you changing, you wonder, how did it come to this? 

I have the luxury of coming home on my lunch hour. So today I sent my DW a text and asked her what we had to eat. She replied and said that she had bought some Tyson  popcorn chicken at the store the other day.

Here's the thing. I'll give up the occasional being made fun off by the clowns because my butt is white. Or not being able to poop alone without getting asked which basketball player is my favorite or even going to bed at  ten o' clock because I'm actually tired, but I'll be dammed if I'm gonna eat one more Chicken F'ing Nugget.

Eventually a guy has to take a stand.  

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

It's all in how you look at it.....

Life is all about perspective. I'm learning this valuable lesson these last few weeks.

Yesterday I flossed after lunch with a piece of elastic from my sock. You see I had just finished eating a pork chop, and realized I had some stuck in my teeth. I tried using the corner of a granola bar wrapper, but it wouldn't budge. I searched for something, anything close by, but nothing would work. Then it hit me. Pull some elastic from your sock...brilliant. It worked like a charm. Oh sure you laugh because I used sock elastic for floss. But I say it's all about perspective. You see, I didn't go back to work with pork chop stuck in my teeth now did I.

For the last week or so, I haven't been able to get my lawn mower to run. A little piece of my soul dies with each day I'm unsuccessful working on my mower. Not because I love to have a finely manicured lawn, but because I know I don't have the funds to just go buy a new one. So I put my blood, sweat and tears into that POS every summer. And unfortunately no matter how many times I might use his name if vain, yeah, sorry about that God, my lawn doesn't stop growing just because my mower is a piece of crap. But today. Today I got it to run. Something is still not quite right with it because every time I turn left it wants to quite running, but hey, I figured out a way to just always turn right...Bam.

Last week my baseball team beat the previously undefeated Reds. I was on cloud nine. I couldn't have been happier for my team and for my two clowns. The Reds are a very good team, but on this day, we were better. I really felt like we had turned the corner and they were actually understanding the game of baseball. Then last night we got clobbered in our tournament. I had kids asking me after the first inning; are we done yet? They were playing in the dirt not paying attention, they had to go pee every couple minutes, and they were generally disinterested. I was disappointed at the end of the game but didn't let it show as I talked to the kids. As I was telling them how proud I was of each one of them for this past year, and how hard they played and how good we became at hitting the ball, the youngest kid on the team, with a grin from ear to ear reminded me that she got her first and only hit on this night. And as we we were leaving that same little girl gave me a big hug before she left. Sure we finished 3rd in a three team league, but they had fun,

Sometimes in life it's all in how you look at it.