Thursday, April 28, 2011

How to Improve Facebook

Hey Lifers.

So today I was in the middle of poking the DW. On Facebook people, on Facebook. Anyway, I thought, wouldn't it be awesome if there were other options besides the Poke button. Just think of the possibilities.

Everytime you get a Farmville request for a cow or to harvest a field or something you could click a Sorry I don't play a virtual game with chores and work, I do that for real button.

Or what about a request for some Mafia wars money or whatever. You could click the Sorry, homie don't play dat gameI get my money the old fashioned way, button

Maybe instead of a Poke button they should have a Slap You in the Face button. You know for when someone posts something stupid like a link that turns out to be a virus.

How about a You Idiot, Shut up Stupid or a I'll Punch You in the Throat button for those times when someone comments on your status, and you just don't know how else to respond? And why not a You Suck button instead of the Like, because you know they're just rubbing it in.

I don't know, I think these could catch on.


Tell me Lifers, what buttons would you like to see added to Facebook.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Pull Over

Yo Lifers. So I'm on my way home from work today and on the side of the road I see a car with it's blinkers on.
Now I drive nearly all interstate to and from work so to see an abandoned car on the side of the road is not uncommon.

However, today as I passed, I noticed there were people sitting in the grass along the ditch. Immediately my mind races.

It looked like a couple kids over there, and a lady? 
Should I stop? Can't stop now, there's a huge line of traffic behind me. Nice going.
If I stop now they'll surely be pulling the Peterbuilt hood ornament outta my butt later tonight at the hospital.
Crap what should I do? Looks like it could start raining any minute.
I think that car was up on a jack. Maybe tire just blew. It looked like they were waiting on someone. Surely they have a cell phone. I mean, who doesn't have a cell phone now a days right? 
I'm sure they called somebody.
Dang it, I should have stopped back there. If it were my family I would hope somebody would stop.  
Crap, can't turn around on the interstate, I'll have to go up to the next exit. 
Nah, I'm sure they called somebody. I'm just gonna head on home.......
OK coming up on the exit, what should I do????
Fine. I'll turn around up here.

So I get off at the next exit and head back. It's about 3 miles down the road before I find an emergency turn around. I pass them, this time on the other side.   

Good they're still there. I'll just dart into this emergency turn around thingy. Hope I don't see any Po-Po. Better yet, I hope no Po-Po sees me. Sweet. There's a no U-turn sign. I'm so gonna get busted.

I quickly do a u-turn that Michael Knight would have been proud of, and head back to the broken down car.

knight-rider-02 picture by is910 - Photobucket
 Again, my mind wanders.

Should I call the DW and tell her I'm going to be a little late? What if they car jack me or something? No way. They looked fine, right? No worries. Besides it's broad daylight it's not like they're gonna be all Manson Family on me right?

So I catch up to them and pull over. I roll down my window and asked if they needed help. Her response....We're good, we called somebody.


So tell me Lifers. Do you, or have you stopped? Is it safe?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Just Think...

Hey Lifers

So yesterday was a pretty humbling day at the office. After a great Easter weekend I received news that a co-worker had passed away unexpectedly.

Now I wasn't extremely close to this gentlemen, but I did talk to him daily.  He was actually a supplier of ours, but worked for us as well... It's sort of complicated.

Anyway, it was one of those things that you think about throughout the day. We always talk about how you never know, and when it's your time it's your time. But when its someone you know it tends to make you think a little bit.

So throughout the day I thought...

I thought about my DW and my clowns, and how blessed I am to have them. I thought about my parents and siblings and how thankful I am that they didn't give up on me long ago, when maybe they should have. And I thought about my family and friends....

Then I came home, and thought... heck who's got time for all this thinking. I've got things to do. So I kissed the DW a little longer, and hugged my clowns a littler tighter, and got on with my daily activities. But I was a little more thankful.


Monday, April 25, 2011

The Good Stuff

Hey Lifers.

Hope everybody had a fantastic Easter weekend. I know we did. The clowns received more loot then they know what to do with. Of course that's a figure of speech, trust me, they know what to do with candy.

So this past weekend brought us some good food. And by good food I mean good deserts. Now before somebody gets all excited and wants to hang me up by my toenails because of this post, let me first say, my clowns are not deprived of sweets, ice cream, or deserts of any kind.

But I've got a question. Is it wrong for us parents to hold back on the deserts until the clowns go to bed? Now I'm not talking about the Neapolitan ice cream, or Popsicles here. No, I'm talking about the good stuff. You know the good chocolate, or the cake, or the double fudge-peanut butter carmel something-or-other?

Because you know every time you start to open that wrapper, scoop that dip, or cut that piece, the next thing you hear is....can I have some? And let's face it folks, they just don't appreciate the good stuff.


So tell me Lifers, is it wrong to wait till the clowns go to bed before breaking out the good stuff?

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Saturday Mornings

Hey Lifers.

So today is Saturday, and again this morning, I was awakened the same way I am every Saturday morning. Now keep in mind my clowns are still pretty little, so we don't have soccer games or baseball practice on Saturday mornings.

No instead this is what the DW and I hear every Saturday morning.


But you know as much as us it drives me crazy to be awakened early on a Saturday morning, I certainly wouldn't trade it in for anything.

On a side note. The clowns colored some eggs tonight. Yeah they let me do one too. They're to good to me.


Leave me a comment Lifers. You know I need 'em

Friday, April 22, 2011

Me and Mother Nature

Hey Lifers. So every year around this time I drudge outside, find my special spot and attempt to be one with nature. I am alone. Just me and my thoughts. The earth below me, the sky above me. Every year I vow this year will be different. I pray to my God, and explain all the ways in which I failed the last year. I explain all the ways in which I plan to do better, and how this year will be different. And when I am finished, I step back and admire my works like a proud Leonardo Da Vinci  after painting the Mona Lisa.

Today was again that day. Yes Lifers, today I tilled what will become my garden.

See I've gone through this little ritual every year now for the last three or so years. I get all excited in the beginning. I till. I plant. I water. I weed. Eventually I get plants, and actual food. Tomatoes, Bell Peppers, Lettuce, Watermelon, Cantaloupe, whatever. Last year I even went with some Sweet Corn. Although that didn't turn out so well.

But the problem is I get tired of the maintenance that comes with a garden, and by late August early September I mow it down and tell the DW I'm not doing a garden next year.

And every year around this time I begin my little cycle all over again. Wish me luck.

On a side note Lifers, you can now follow me on Twitter at JTony20. Yeah I'm not sure what I'm doing over there yet, but follow along anyway. Why not?


So tell me Lifers, do you have a garden? Do you enjoy gardening?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

To Extreme for Me

Hey Lifers.

So a week back or so the DW told me about this show on TLC called Extreme Couponing. Here is a little clip of what it's all about.

Tell me  Lifers. Have you seen this show, and what do you think about these people? Do you cut coupons of your own?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What Would You Do?

Alright Lifers, here's a question for you.

Today at work a few of us were standing around talking, and the subject came up about our boss being on Facebook. I've known that he has an account on Facebook for some time now, but have never friend requested him, and vice-versa. Not because I don't like him or anything. I mean he's an alright guy, and not a bad boss. Now don't get me wrong, there are those days when I'd like to put my pen through his eyeball just to get him to stop talking, but for the most part he's OK. But.. he's my boss.

So anyway, one of the gals in the office made mention that he posted something on FB last night. So I asked her if he friended her, to which she replied he did. Now I initially thought, because I'm a pessimist by nature, why hasn't he friended me? What's wrong? I thought we got along pretty well? I thought we were pals? Is it because of the whole pen in the eye remark, because I may have said that out loud once or twice.

So after I climbed down off the ledge, the question was brought up. What do you do when somebody like your boss friend requests you? What if it's that one guy or girl you didn't get along with in high school. You know the one. But you have so many friends in common. What if they friend request you? I mean come on it's been twenty years. Surely you've both moved on right? Or maybe not. Maybe you're even offended that they would think they could friend you after all you guys went through in school. The fighting, the name calling the sugar in the gas tank...the fighting.

So what do you do. Do you ignore the request and hope they don't ask again, or do you reluctantly accept. What about your boss. How are you gonna vent to the world about your day at work if he's one of your friends?


So tell me Lifers, what do you do? Just so you know, J-Tony has moved on. I would accept the request and say let bygones be bygones.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Free Giveaway

Hey Lifers.

OK so I was feeding my obsession this evening, and it occured to me,  I'm one of those facebook stalkers. I check FB about about every hour to see what everybody else is doing, but rarely do I post anything of my own on there.

So anyway, I'm on FB tonight, and I see  two other Pages where people are having a give away. You know the bit where they say, like page so and so, and you'll be entered in to win a free whatever.

Yeah so this got me thinking about A Day in the Life Facebook page. As of right now we have 68 fans. I am so  happy that there are actually people out there who like the page, and who also enjoy reading the blog.

I want to ask all those who read this to quickly go over to A Day in the Life facebook page, and like it if you haven't already. In the mean time, I'll think about what I'll give away if the page reaches a milestone..Say 100 fans.

So go on over, like the page, and tell your friends.



Monday, April 18, 2011

I Want My MTV

Hey Lifers welcome back.

So I'm not a big t.v watcher. Well, I do watch a ball game about every chance I get, so maybe I am a big t.v watcher. Usually though I have the t.v on with a game going, but actually I could take it or leave it, unless it's one of my teams.

I am also one of those people who likes to have everything it it's place. I can't tell you how many times I have said where does it go, or put it back where you got it, to one of my clowns. If this is lets say a comb, not a big deal. Or maybe they left the bread on the table. Again, doesn't really affect me, I just want to teach them some responsibility. There is one thing though that when it's not put back drives me crazy.


That's right, the remote. Now they all know this remote is supposed to go on the table next to my chair. However that's never where we find it. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much when the remote is missing, but it does. It bothers me more then drinking out of the milk carton, or not flushing the toilet. The only thing worse then not being able to find this remote is.....

Not being able to find this one. Yeah that's right. Unfortunately we have two. This one is for the t.v, the other one is for the dish. So you need both of them to watch anything. And for some reason they can never put them back where they go.


So tell me Lifers. Do you have a problem finding the remotes in your Palace? 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Mr Hankey visits the Palace

Hey Lifers.

So typically on a lazy Saturday or Sunday I enjoy nodding off in the afternoon in the recliner while watching a ballgame. I know it's rather grandpa-ish of me, but it's nice to take a little nap when you get the chance. Problem is in my Palace, I've got 3 clowns....naps don't last long.

Today was no different. It was a beautiful spring day, the sun was shining and the wind was blowing through the windows. I was watching the Reds game when I dozed for a few minutes.

I was awakened shortly there after by the sounds of all three clowns in their bathroom. Here's what I heard.

-FINE...flushing...WAS THAT SO HARD.

Now this is their bathroom. The DW and I rarely use this bathroom. So what seems odd to me is, someone forgot that they pooped today. Another typical day in the life.


Leave me a comment Lifers.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Gone Fishin'...Yeah Right

Yo Lifers. OK so I'm a little late today, but I sort of made a commitment to put something up here everyday, so here goes.

OK so I've got a question for you all. Let's say I'm out fishing with a buddy. Hypothetically speaking of course, because anybody who knows me knows that I don't go fishing unless I'm made to. But lets just say I'm out fishing with my buddy, we're on the bank, and we've both got lines in the water. All of a sudden I have to go relieve myself. I tell him to keep an eye on my line while I run over to the port-o-potty. Yeah I know, port-o-potty gross right?

Anyway, lets say I'm on my way back and I can hear him hootin' and a hollerin' as he's reeling in some large mouth bass on my pole. Hootin' and hollerin'... Very Jed Clampett of me isn't it?

So he reels in this big ol' fish. Now again, I know very little about fishing, but maybe this fish is the biggest fish either one of us has ever caught.

Now my question is, who gets the credit for catching it? I mean it was my pole, and my bait. Yet he actually reeled it in? Who's wall does this big fatty go on?


Let me know Lifers. Who keeps it and gets to tell the fish story.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Love thy Neighbor

Hey Lifers welcome back.

So the weather is starting to change here in my part of the world. Although today is not a good example. And with that change comes the people. Yeah that's right. Your neighbors. Well my neighbors to be exact. We live just outside the city and folks around here do things just a little bit different then those of you in the city. And I've got a few around here that certainly fit that bill.

First there's the neighbor behind us. Let's call him old naked fat guy and his wife. You see naked fat guy doesn't wear a shirt...ever. Well maybe he does but the only time we ever see this guy he's shirtless. Now the only thing worse then seeing old naked fat guy hanging out around his house is seeing old naked fat guy on his riding lawn mover in the heat of the summer. Yeah I know. Nice visual. Now here's the thing. ONFG is retired, so he really has nothing better to do with his time then to mow his grass. Thanks neighbor...I need to go bleach my eyes now.

So aside from the no shirt thing ONFG is not nearly as bad as neighbor #2. He lives across the street. Now let's just call this guy NEIGHBOR! I call him NEIGHBOR! because every time I see this dude he hollers across the street NEIGHBOR! Now more often then not this is accompanied by him holding up a Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boy. Stay Classy NEIGHBOR!

No big deal you say. Just a friendly guy right? Maybe so, but keep reading. Now a few summers ago he was putting up an addition to his house. He had some buddies helping him, and they had been drinking all day, PBR no doubt. Well apparently he wasn't comfortable with his buddies construction skills and decided to turn all Bruce Lee on the dude. A few of them decided to hop in their cars and peal out down the street. Soon after the Po-Po showed up.

So what, everybody has a neighbor that gets a little out of hand right? Sure. But does everybody have a neighbor that raises deer? Yeah that's right. He raises deer. He keeps them in a pen on the side of his property. He's got about 10 of 'em over there. Now I'm not real sure why he has them, but none the less he does. 

That doesn't sound so bad right? How about this. The first year the DW and I moved out here it was around October. Sometime around the first week of November the DW and I were awakened by gunshots at midnight. Frantically she looked out the window questioning what in the world? Yeah turns out NEIGHBOR! was celebrating the beginning of deer season. Gotta love thy neighbor.


So tell me Lifers. Do you have some crazy neighbors?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Heisman Moment

Ok Lifers, I'd like to take today's post and describe my earliest Heisman Trophy Moment. For those of you who know nothing about college football and or the Heisman Trophy. Let me quickly explain.

The Heisman Trophy, many years ago, was the most coveted award given out to the most outstanding college football player. Young men from all across this great nation strived to be the best , and if they were successful on the field, talented,or even lucky enough they might get voted as the trophys' winner. Their name and accolades for that year would be etched in college football history. So bascially it's the MVP award for college football. I use words as years ago and was, because it seems like today it's more of a popularity contest, but I digress.

Anyway, it's a big award, everybody knows the winner, and it's a special day for that guy. Back to me.

My Heisman Trophy moment came when I was back in the sixth grade...Ahh yes, the sixth grade. This was the beginning of middle school for me. That year our school system decided to make 6th, 7th, and 8th grades our middle school. So for me it was all new. New school, new teachers, new classmates, and new girls.

Now if my memory serves me, this also was the first year that I played organized basketball. I had always loved basketball growing up and played any chance I could. I was a huge 76'ers fan. I remember I actually cried one year when they got beat in the playoffs. I can remember being in my driveway reinacting games, I knew every player, their strengths, their weaknesses, and my favorite player was Dr. J. Remember him? He's the guy on the Dr. Pepper commercials. In fact I was Dr. J.  And when the school try outs for the sixth grade basketball team rolled around guess who signed up?

So here's my first Heisman moment. I say first like there are so many others. Heck this might be my only Heisman moment. Anyway, I made the team, and our very first game I scored 6 points. Why is that a Heisman moment you ask? Because our team only scored That's right baby. I lead the team in scoring. We ended up winning the game something line 12-8. Come on people we were in the 6th grade in a suburban small town. It's not like any of us were Jimmy Chitwood from Hoosiers out there dropping 45 a night.

That week I was king. BMOC, well as big as an 11 year old can be on a sixth grade campus that is. Anyway, I caught wind of one of the cheeleaders liking me. Yeah one of those new girls I mentioned earlier. You bet I circled yes when she passed me the, I like you do you like me note in study hall. I mean after all our basketball team was undefeated and I was Dr. J right?

Well my rock star status didn't last that long. We didn't win another game that year.The cheerleader broke up with me, I'm sure she passed me another note, and I'm not sure if I scored another point the rest of the year.

But hey, I'll always have my one Heisman Moment right?


So tell me Lifers, what's your Heisman Moment. It doesn't have to be sports related, but tell me your story about the one time you were on top. Your one shinning moment.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Communication Breakdown

Hey Lifers, what's up?

So the other day the DW and I were visiting the Evil Empire, we had split up for a little while, and when I returned, I  noticed these little gems in our cart.

Immediately I began to ask questions. And immediately she told me to be quite.

What are these for?
Be quiet.
So...I'm supposed to use these after I go to the bathroom?
Be quiet.
So... what's the toilet paper for then?
Be quiet
Am I supposed to use these instead of toilet paper?
Would you Please be quiet!
I'm confused?

So let me just see if I get this straight. When I was a baby a baby wipe was used on me. As I got to be, oh I don't know say three, I started using toilet paper. And now that I'm a grown man, I need to use baby wipes again? Now look they can call them flushable moist wipes if they want to, but they're still baby wipes.

Later that day we came home with the groceries and realized we didn't have any room in the refrigerator for the new food. The DW began to clean it out. She was elbow deep in throwing away old leftovers, things we had forgotten about, and even some things we had no idea what they were. In her mad fury to clean out the ol' GE side by side, she asked me to hand her the wipes...Who knew she meant the Clorox ones?


Leave me a comment Lifers. You know I gotta have 'em.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Watch Your Mouth

Hey Lifers, welcome back.

I took a little break from posting the last couple of days, hope you were able to cope.

So the other day my middle clown was attempting to say sitting, but got mixed up and said shitting. Now around my Palace we don't cuss, sure every now and then something might slip from the DW or myself, but we really make it a point not to. So we didn't make a big deal out of her slip of the tongue, but the DW did explain to her that that's not a word that we use, and little kids certainly don't say it. Of course being 6 she wanted to know what it meant, and of course the DW referred her to me saying, ask Daddy, he knows bad words, I don't.

So immediately she walks across the room and asks me what Shit means. I explain the actual word and again, I explain to her that it's a grown-up word that some adults use, but we don't. And from this point on she is not to use it either.
Now the puzzling thing to me was that she didn't ask me what shitting meant, she asked me what shit meant. You see when she slipped up she used the verb tense shitting, but when she asked me she used it as more of a noun; shit. Now only a 6 year old who has heard this word before would know the different forms even existed right? I quickly caught this, grabbed my phone and sent a text to the DW. Yes she was in the room and sitting just a few feet away, but I didn't want the clowns to hear our conversation. I explained to the DW the different ways Miss O presented the word. I told her that I didn't think she slipped up but rather, I think she heard it somewhere before and just wanted to say it and or find out what it means.
To which the DW replied: I blame you.


So let me know about your cussing clowns. I'd love to hear from ya.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hellooooo McFatty

Yo Lifers welcome back.

So today was just like any other day at work. Morning coffee, a meeting or two, followed by lunch. Nothing new, no big deal. No drama, no big event even to blog about. Until that is, I nearly lost my pants.

So after lunch I go to the bathroom, no big deal right? Wrong.

You see that picture to your right? Yeah it's a picture of the button off my pants. Yep, it popped right off, you know sort of like that Subway commercial. Now you know you're fat when the button pops off your pants. Now naturally as soon as this happened my quality instincts kicked in and I immediately began to inspect the button and determined that it was faulty, and this clearly is not a case of Dicky Doo.

Now maybe this is no big deal on any other day. Normally I wear a belt, and this would have covered up my missing button, but wouldn't you know it, today I forgot my belt. So I thought, if I can just make it back to my desk I could get some paper clips and make a makeshift latch. But here's the problem with that. With every step I took my zipper fell down, and my pants began to slide down my hips a little. So at this point I'm frantically looking around the men's room for anything that might help me keep my pants up. Yeah nothing.

So I go to the mirror, pull my shirt down to cover myself, pull my zipper up and decide to make a break for it. As long as nobody sees me in passing I should be ok. I'll keep one hand on my zipper and just play it cool right? It's the perfect plan? Wrong again. As soon as I walk out of the bathroom and head back to my desk I immediately see a girl from my department. Great. No, couldn't be another dude right? I mean, I know another dude wouldn't be paying attention to what I'm doing, and even if he did, he certainly wouldn't ask, hey what's up with your zipper man. But nooo. Instead I get a chick, and she's headed right for me. My mind races. Crap what do I do? What if my pants fall down right here on the spot? What if she needs to talk to me? What will I do if she says, can you help me a minute? Man this is going to be embarrassing.

Now luckily I was able to keep one hand on my zipper and get around the corner without making any real eye contact with her. She didn't need me, and she didn't seem to notice. Sweet. Tragedy avoided. So I get to my desk, make me a quick paper clip latch, and quickly put my jacket on again to cover up. I walked around the rest of the day with my jacket on hoping and praying that my fat belly didn't break the 0.45 wire gauge silver jumbo paper clip belt I just whipped up like Macgyver.
So I get home, tell the DW of my awesomeness, show her my belt making skillz, and explain that as of this moment I am on a diet. Her response....just buy bigger pants. That's why I love her.


So tell me Lifers, ever had one of these moments? Leave me a comment and tell me your story, I'd love to hear 'em.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pimpin' Aint Easy

Hey Lifers What's up?

OK so this evening I have been wracking my brain trying to come up with a cleaver post to entertain you with. You know something maybe as funny as Office Memo or Raising Funds.

I even tried to think back about my day and my week so far to see if I had anything as clever as Scary Movie. But I really have nothing for today. So if I've let you down, I'm sure you'll find a way to go on.

So instead of telling you all about me and my blog I thought I'd pimp a couple of new blogs I was led to. So if you're a Blog Junkie like I am, I highly recommend you check out Jen over at  My Evil 3 Year Old, and afterwards click on over and check out The Restaurant Managers Rants .

They are both very good writers and enjoyable reads. I'm sure you won't be disappointed.


As always I enjoy your comments.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Paging Dr. Smooth, Paging Dr. Smooth...

Hey Lifers what's up?

Ok so today was a pretty busy day at work. We had a big conference and had several different top management representatives from other companies at our plant so we could present some of our business practices and philosophies. This was an all day event that started first thing this morning and didn't end till late in the afternoon. We had lunch catered in, and finished the afternoon with a plant tour and some disscussion.

Now I wasn't a huge part of the overall presentation. My job consisted of the morning meet and greet session, and then I was a tour guide this afternoon. Which makes sense really. I mean anybody who knows me knows that I can talk with the best of them, even if we've never met.

So we had our lunch this afternoon and right after I was taking a group on a brief tour. Now I didn't have to speak much on the tour. I was to take the group from place to place in the plant for another presenter. So anyhow I did my part, spoke briefly, and again we finished up with some closing disscussion. 

Now inbetween the closing  and the end of the tour I went to the Men's room. After finishing my business I went to wash my hands and check my awesomeness in the mirror. And that's when I discovered some left over lunch stuck in my teeth.....Yep I'm as smooth as a baby's butt. Just another typical day in the Life.


So tell me Lifers, you ever had one of these smooth moments?

Monday, April 4, 2011

My Obsession

Yo Lifers What's Up?

 So this past weekend I lost a follower on my Facebook page, A Day in the Life. I was devastated. Ok maybe devastated is a pretty strong word considering right? But none the less, a couple of things ran through my mind.

1. Did I offend someone? I mean I try to keep it pretty clean here, after all my mom reads this blog. Don't want to embarrass either one of us.

2. I will hunt the DB down and beat them to within an inch of their miserable little life...right after I finish folding this laundry. The boy like his underoos folded you know.

So it led me to think about the obsession I have secretly developed. And that is the Facebook and Blog Followers and Comments obsession.

Every day I check A Day in the Life Facebook page to see if there are any new followers, and after every post I check the blog for your comments. I know, pathetic isn't it? But hey I am who I am. I'm not sure why I have this obsession. I mean it's not like I'm going to quit my day job and blog about getting punk'd for the rest of my life. Maybe I'm more narcissistic then the average bear, said in my best Yogi Bear voice. But either way, I must admit, I am obsessed. I guess that's the first step right, admitting you have a problem. 

Earlier I'd mentioned that I lost a follower on the FB page this past weekend and I was just about to lose my mind, when guess what? Just in the nick of time, I gained two more of you. So if you're new to A Day in the Life, I'd just like to say thank you for supporting my habit, or creating it. I haven't figured that one out yet. Oh and don't forget to follow on Blogger and tell your friends.


Ok Lifers so leave me a comment.

Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fool's Day

Hey Lifers what's up?

Ok so today is April Fool's Day, and an anniversary of sorts for me. It's one of the best stories I'm sure I'll ever tell, it's sort of lengthy, so sit back, get comfy and enjoy.

Now naturally being April Fool's Day, we all try to get someone on a practical joke right? Well last year on this day I was no different.

I returned home from work just like any other day. I hadn't tried any practical jokes on the DW or clowns yet, so I was eager to get my joke on.  My clowns are little and haven't mastered the practical joke just yet as they were trying to get me with things like Dad you got a spider on you, and things like that. So I figured I'd sort wait until the novelty of the day wore off a little. So it was after dinner I believe, and I mentioned to the DW that I was going out to the garage to do a little work.

Now what I obviously hadn't told her was I retrieved some ketchup packets from the refrigerator a little earlier and took them out to the garage with me. It was a nice spring day with the sun shining and we had the house all open, so I knew she would be able to hear me working out there. 

So I'm out in the garage and I start up one of my saws. Again, I know she can hear me. I came inside once or twice to play it off like I was actually doing something out there. Then I pulled off one of my greatest April Fools Jokes ever. I hit the saw a few times, then put the ketchup on my hands. Now I know it's a little childish, but come on it's April Fool's Day right? So anyway, I race inside screaming that I'm hurt and cut my hand.

Now as with any practical joke what ensues afterwards is a lot of apologizing. Mine was no different. After I scared everybody nearly to death, I had to apologize profusely. All the while laughing at how good I got them all.  And of course none of them thought it was very funny.

Ok so that was April 1st, and it was a great joke, but what happened the day after can only be described as the Practical Joke Gods not being pleased. Maybe I took my joke to far and they felt I needed to be smacked around a little.

So the following day, Good Friday, I had the day off. I decided to mow the grass for the first time of the year. We've got a fairly large yard which requires a riding mower. Now I get a few passes in and then it happened. I got myself up into some leaves along the side of our property. Here's sort of the way it went down here at the Palace after that.

I'm about 25 or so yards away from the house. I quickly run up to the house and  into the front door.

Me: Honey call 911 the mower is on fire.
DW: Slowly getting up from her chair at the computer. What?
Me: Somewhat frantic. Call 911 the mower is on fire and it's going to catch the field next to us on fire.
DW: Non believing, Whatever. Pfft. Where?
Slowly she walks to the door to get a look.
DW: OMG the mower is on fire!

Now I might have been ok but it was extremely windy out that day.

 In fact there was a no burn advisory that day because of the strong winds, and it did catch the property next to us on fire.

Now behind all the smoke over there is our neighbors house. 

And this is what was left of my mower.

So this year I think maybe I'll just stick to a simple April Fool's joke, like hey your shoes untied or there's a spider on you. You know something simple like that.


As always leave my a comment. I'd love to hear from you. Believe me on this one I've heard it all.