Friday, January 22, 2016

Life is Hard...

Life is hard

She sits and stares at the floor as she speaks to me. She mumbles and struggles a bit to find the answers to the questions. She doesn't know that I already know the answers. 

The words that come out of my mouth are not words that would have come out 13 years ago, hell not even last year. But life is different now, hers and mine. Besides, this is my child, and things just aren't the same as they used to be. 

Plans Change

Mike Tyson once said, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face". This is so true. Life moves fast and you have to be able to adapt. 

I won't lie, my eyes welled up yesterday as I thought about all the shit lately, and who I am, and who my daughter thinks I am. I'd fight to the death for her, no matter what. That's what parents do. Good parents anyway. I know she doubts it though. That's what teenagers do.

Being Scared is Scary.

As we continue our talk I can't help but think there's a part of her that has to be scared too, yet as the conversation drags on she gains momentum and speaks clearer and with more puropse. Her mother helps with this. She's more comfortable speaking to her mother than to me. I don't lie. I tell her I'm scared. Scared of what the future holds for all of us, but I will fight for and with her.

Friday, January 8, 2016

No more simplicity

Lately I've been tinkering with this blog, feeling like it needs something new. A new title or a new look? Turns out what it needs more than anything is content. 

Life is changing for me. Maybe it's being defined for me. Either way things are more different than they've ever been. 

These last 12 years or so things have been relatively the same. Babies, toddlers, sippy cups, homemade cards proclaiming I'm the greatest dad of all time. 

Those days are gone

My oldest daughter is 13 now going on 22. This past year she came out to her mother and I. I won't lie it took me back and I've struggled with it. It seems with each day she hates me just a little bit more than the day before. Maybe it's just teenage girl stuff, but there's no denying things are different. 

The Gray Stuff 

Growing up I believed life was black or white, there was no gray area. I remember thinking that the gray area in life just created to many problems. Now I understand that the gray area is life.