Saturday, June 28, 2014

I am a Truck Guy...

Ladies, sometimes in a man's life, a force comes over him that he can't always explain. It's sort of like a testosterone jolt. It's just something that makes him feel manly, like buying a power tool, or building something. And when this force comes over him, he has to act on it.

A month or so back, I had this feeling, this man force, that was telling me I need a truck. After all, I've been driving a mini van for the last two plus years, and with the DW and I just a few payments away from having all our vehicles paid off, I thought I'd flex my muscles a bit, and let her know that; we WILL be buying a truck next.  

No we're not

Yes, we are

Are you retarded? First of all we won't be able to afford it because you'd have to get a great big thing that we all can ride in, and the payments will be more than what we're paying now. But let's just say you do find something that we can all fit in for our payment range, you won't be able to drive it because it will cost an arm and a leg to put gas in those things. (i love it when she calls me names)

Well, I want one. 

We're not getting a truck. What do you need a truck for?

You know, hauling things, getting mulch, stuff like that. Yeah, I know, I'm not helping my cause. 

So we're gonna get a truck so you can get mulch once a year? Besides, you're not a truck guy. 

What do you mean I'm not a truck guy, sure I am.

No you're not. What's next, you gonna go huntin' and fishin'. Gonna put the dog in the front seat with ya. 

Well I want one.

Keep in mind I actually wrote this post a month ago, just never published it. Long story short. Here's my new vehicle.

It's an older Dodge Durango and it has some rust and some issues, but we bought it outright from a friend so no car payment. Oh and guess what.....the BMV classifies it as... "A Truck"

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Training Day...

Sitting in a training session this morning for three hours was not on my favorites lists, but what are you gonna do?

It's a compliance training talking about price fixing, the Cartel, and corruption, and so far the only thing I can think about is how I'd to see Jackson or Clay from Sons of Anarchy sit through one if these things. I imagine a few minutes in and those two would have already shot up this room and curb stopped this lady with the microphone on their way to stealing everybody's wallet. Mostly because they can. Yes, yes, I know Clay died last season so please don't read this and comment that Clay died. I know. I also know it's a t.v show, and if I'm gonna sit here and wish somebody would come in and blow this room to smithereens it might as well be Jackson and Clay right?
picture credit

A few seats down a co-worker diligently scribble some notes on her notepad. I roll my eyes and think "give it a rest would ya". It's compliance training and your a grown ass women. Really? You need notes? I mean, lets just say a supplier offers you a hundred grand all in cash, for some new business. You mean to tell me you need to refer to your notes to know if this is acceptable or not? Come on lady.  

I think I hear the guy next to my pass gas, to which I want to immediately stand up, point my finger and shout, "that was him, he did it". Just in case someone else heard the same thing I did and has doubts about who it was. After all, I don't want to be thought of the guy who might have broke wind at the training. 

My stomach is growling and I'd kill for a cup of coffee right about now. Who has a three hour training withing providing refreshments? What's next, bamboo shoots jammed under my fingernails? Would it have killed them to provide coffee and a doughnut?

One thing's for sure, this isn't even close to the Training Day I had in mind.

picture credit here

Friday, June 20, 2014

Let's Talk About Sex.....

The talk.

I never really had the talk with either of my parents. I'm not sure why really? I do remember one time when I was maybe in the eight grade and my mom asked me if I had any questions about sex. By this time I'd already seen magazines and a few movies, after all, I did have an older brother but still had some questions. Obvious questions like, will I really go blind or get hairy palms. Where does the pee come out of a girl and what are my nipples for? And even a few non-traditional ones like, do all women open the door to the pizza delivery guy without a top on? But of course I told her that I didn't have any questions and we were good. After all lets face it, as a kid discussing anything sex with your mom ranks right up there with kissing your sister or seeing a grown man naked. It's just wrong.  

So I just knew that when I had a son, and had to have the Talk, things would be different, at least that's how I pictured it in my head. Now don't get me wrong. I never dreamed it would be like two sailors sitting in a smokey bar discussing whether or not a handful was plenty, but I also didn't think it would be that awkward moment when your parents talk to you about sex.  

This past weekend I had to sit down and have a talk with the boy about sex. I talk to my kids regularly about life. Things like our feelings, love, compassion, and God. Not necessarily in that order, but we talk about things. Things that maybe seem simple or obvious to us adults, but things I wish someone would have sat down and told me about when I was a kid. So I thought for sure this would be just another one of those talks. Now maybe it was because of his age, and I had to tread lightly about information overload, or maybe because this talk wasn't exactly on my terms, but whatever the reason I wasn't exactly Vince Lombardi giving a halftime speech. 

Ultimately, in the end, I didn't go with the traditional, bury my head in the sand this is bad, you're to young to know about these sorts of things, kind of talk. Hell, I didn't even play the sex is between a married couple card. No instead I thought about his feelings. What he thought he knew, and what I best could tell he knew. I explained that I understand his curiosity, and that it was normal. But more than the act or the definitions of the acts, we talked about making good decisions as a child. I'm not so old fashioned as to think that my kid will never see things on t.v or the Internet, or never hear things on the playground and not want to find out for himself, I know better. For me though it doesn't matter if its about sex or the latest video games, life is about making good decisions, and what we do with the information we're provided. I explained to him that although I understood and it's completely normal, the depths of this topic were not for little boys. The words, the acts, the actions, they were all for when he was a bit older........ And of course, in the end, I asked him if he had any questions. 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


Today I see 41.

Forty-one feels like 30something most of the time. Forty-one is secure enough to not care about the latest fashions, yet wanting to still be in touch. Forty-one is wearing your hat and pants the way they were intended. 

Forty-one is embarrassing your children, and being their hero all in the same day. Forty-one is Friday nights gathered around the TV rather than the bars. Forty-one is coaching your kids' sports teams. Forty-one is not worrying if you're gonna make the doctor mad with all your questions. Forty-one Is asking questions. 

Forty-one is being confident enough in your marriage to tell her your fears, dreams, and desires. Forty-one is loving her more today than yesterday. Forty-one is putting them before yourself. 

Forty-one is not sleeping through the night. Forty-one is aches and pains in the morning. Forty-one is knowing who you can trust.  

Forty-one is forgetting the past and looking forward to the future. Forty-one is having an itch for more. Forty-one is knowing your limits, and respecting history. 

Today I see 41. Here's to 41 more. 

Saturday, June 14, 2014

My New Toy...

First of all, Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there.

Being a dad is not always a glamours job, but it is the best job I've ever had. And let's face it, I've had a lot of jobs.

So since Father's Day is tomorrow and my birthday on Wednesday, the DW gave me my combo present today, a new laptop. She figured I wouldn't have much time tomorrow to enjoy it with visiting my dad.

Yes, finally after...I don't even know how long it's been, but I know it's been a long time, I've got my own computer again. I've been sort of getting by without one because I do have a laptop that my work provides me, but it's just not the same you know. I can't put my pictures on it or change the screen saver or anything like that. Now I'm sure she bought me this one because she wants me to get back to telling all the funny stories and events of my life through this blog, and let's be honest, who doesn't. Well, at least that's what I'd like to think. But I'm sure it's more because I've only been complaining about not having a computer for a year or so and she's tired of listening to me. That's probably more accurate. Either way, yay me.