Its two in the morning and I can't sleep. I'd like to think its just something we all go through at this stage in our lives. Anxieties about bills, jobs and clowns. But not me. Its not something I do on a regular basis. Not that I don't worry about those things, because Lord knows I do. Maybe even more than I should. But I don't loose sleep over them.
No, this sleepless night is due to the fact that in just a few hours I'll be on a plane traveling halfway across the world for a two week vacation. Something I've never done before. I'm not sure if I'm nervous because its something I've never done before, or if I'm excited because its something I've never done before. Either way it keeps me up.
The hallway light provides just enough for me to see the night. Its become an oversized night light for the clown. I hear the sounds of the shower in our bathroom. It has a slow drip coming from the head. Drip...drip....drip. It reminds me of other things around the house that need fixed. The ceiling fan spins above me as it always does. I try to follow just one blade with my eyes without success. I'd have it on year round if she'd let me. My thoughts take me to when I was a kid laying in bed at night. I'd lay there on the top bunk of our bedding tower and listen to whatever my older brother decided on listening to that night. Sometimes we'd listen to music, other nights old radio shows like Abbott and Costello, or Burns and Allen. I remember how I hated it so.
But tonight I think. Think about my trip and my family. I think about the opportunity in front of me. Think about despite my fears and reservations its an opportunity that for me, really is once in a lifetime.
Soon the sun will be up and things will happen fast. Last minute items to pack a.d finally checking in at the airport. I'll worry about if I packed enough. I'll worry about her and the clowns. Deep down I know they'll be fine, buy I'll still worry.
I guess whether we like it or not, its time. Wish us all luck, we're gonna need it.