Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I'm an International Criminal

Yes that's right, I am an international criminal.

So if you remember a month or so ago, I mentioned how my company was sending me to Japan for a little  vacation right? So in my efforts to prep for this trip, I've been getting my affairs in order. Not like writing a will or anything, not those type of affairs. I mean, you don't think I should do something like that do you? I mean...never mind.

OK so anyway, I went to the bank and told them about my plans. When I leave, return yada, yada, yada and asked them kindly to not put a stop on any transactions during that time. That's the last thing I need while I'm gone is to have my bank account froze because somebody thought they were helping my out.

So I did the same thing with the cell phone. The DW decided that she wants to be able to reach me directly if she needs to while I'm over there. Originally I gave her the numbers to the local gentleman's clubs in Japan and just told her to ask for the drunk American, but apparently that wasn't good enough. Said she need to be able to reach me directly; in my pocket. Again, I explained to her that she's been reaching in my pocket since the day we met...my humor was not appreciated.

Anyway back to me being an International Criminal. So we go to the local Verizon store to explain the situation. The little girl behind the counter says is shouldn't be a problem, and she just needed to make a few calls and we'd be on our way.

So Verizon girl calls customer service, and a few minutes later asks me, have you had your identity stolen lately?

To which I reply, Um No.

She gets back on the phone for a few more minutes then back to the DW and I. She begins to explain that my phone number is on the Hot List, and proceeds to ask me questions about cloning my phone, apps I've downloaded, and some other questions all the while typing away.

I have no idea what cloning is, but apparently hackers do it to get information, and according to her sometimes people do it to their own phones (again, not sure why). Now you would have thought that the deer in the headlight look I had on my face would have been enough to convince this ding-bat that I had no idea what she was talking about, but apparently not.

Again, she's back to the customer service line. Now at this point my DW is giving me the look that mothers give their children when they've knocked over the entire end cap at the grocery store. You know the one that says, What the hell have you done now? Yeah, I was getting that look.

After about 20 to 25 minutes, Verizon girl gets off the phone, and assures us that I am now set up for international calling. And when the DW and I asked how my phone got on this Hot List, she couldn't give us a straight answer. Of course the DW was bound and determined to find some answers.

Turns out after calling customer service directly the DW got it all straightened out, and  found out that Verizon girl did it all wrong. In fact the customer service department had no idea what the Hot List even was......Or maybe that's just what they want her to think.



  1. I wonder if that's how they entertain themselves when their working. Maybe they have a pool going in the back room. "Okay, the next couple that comes in, try to get the husband in trouble with the wife. Use that Hot List thing we made up." I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but... :)

  2. Mercy! Incompetence is rampant and scary!! Thankfully it didn't get you nabbed at customs and stuffed into an orange suit (or whatever color the international fugitives wear)