I never really had the talk with either of my parents. I'm not sure why really? I do remember one time when I was maybe in the eight grade and my mom asked me if I had any questions about sex. By this time I'd already seen magazines and a few movies, after all, I did have an older brother but still had some questions. Obvious questions like, will I really go blind or get hairy palms. Where does the pee come out of a girl and what are my nipples for? And even a few non-traditional ones like, do all women open the door to the pizza delivery guy without a top on? But of course I told her that I didn't have any questions and we were good. After all lets face it, as a kid discussing anything sex with your mom ranks right up there with kissing your sister or seeing a grown man naked. It's just wrong.
So I just knew that when I had a son, and had to have the Talk, things would be different, at least that's how I pictured it in my head. Now don't get me wrong. I never dreamed it would be like two sailors sitting in a smokey bar discussing whether or not a handful was plenty, but I also didn't think it would be that awkward moment when your parents talk to you about sex.
This past weekend I had to sit down and have a talk with the boy about sex. I talk to my kids regularly about life. Things like our feelings, love, compassion, and God. Not necessarily in that order, but we talk about things. Things that maybe seem simple or obvious to us adults, but things I wish someone would have sat down and told me about when I was a kid. So I thought for sure this would be just another one of those talks. Now maybe it was because of his age, and I had to tread lightly about information overload, or maybe because this talk wasn't exactly on my terms, but whatever the reason I wasn't exactly Vince Lombardi giving a halftime speech.
Ultimately, in the end, I didn't go with the traditional, bury my head in the sand this is bad, you're to young to know about these sorts of things, kind of talk. Hell, I didn't even play the sex is between a married couple card. No instead I thought about his feelings. What he thought he knew, and what I best could tell he knew. I explained that I understand his curiosity, and that it was normal. But more than the act or the definitions of the acts, we talked about making good decisions as a child. I'm not so old fashioned as to think that my kid will never see things on t.v or the Internet, or never hear things on the playground and not want to find out for himself, I know better. For me though it doesn't matter if its about sex or the latest video games, life is about making good decisions, and what we do with the information we're provided. I explained to him that although I understood and it's completely normal, the depths of this topic were not for little boys. The words, the acts, the actions, they were all for when he was a bit older........ And of course, in the end, I asked him if he had any questions.