Monday, February 21, 2011

Raising Funds

OK Lifers, I know the typical school fund raiser is for good causes, and I get that, but as a parent I can honestly say, I hate them. Now I don't know how it works around your house, but here's what usually happens around The Palace.
The DW brings home the dreaded order form with a catalog or two. Usually these catalogs have Crap in them, and I mean Crap that nobody wants. Now the food ones are OK, pricey, but most of the time OK. But here's the thing. My DW insists that I take these things to work with me. Most of the time you feel guilty or obligated to buy something because just a few weeks ago the guy sitting next to you bought something right? So no matter what it is, you HAVE to buy something. So what do you do? You look for the cheapest thing in this craptastic catalog right? You stick your name on it, and buy 1. Whatever. OK fair enough. I bought something from you, you bought something from me, we have now fulfilled the school fund raiser obligation for our respective schools. Thank goodness our clowns go to different schools.

So that's not even the half of it.

What about the money exchange? You always have that one person who can't pay you right now, and wants to know if they can give it to you next week? Here's the thing about that. Do I give them their stuff now, or wait until they pay to give it to them? Now if I was running some sort of lone shark business I'd give them the stuff when they've got the money right? But since I'm not Tony Soprano, I give them the stuff right away. So now I have to trust that they're going to pay. Now I've got that whole, how many times do I remind them next week that they still owe me money without sounding like a jerk thing going on. Is Monday too soon? But the money is due to the school by Wednesday, so if I don't get the money by then, it comes out of my pocket. Yeah, like I want an extra potato peeler and rubber jar opening thingy.

But now here's the real question. How responsible am I for the merchandise once the sale is final? Like let's just say the items come in and they don't look like the beautiful pictures of the cheese and sausage that the catalog made them out to be. Or what if they taste horrible? Or what if in a week or so the oven mitt you purchased for $19.94, because they're never an exact dollar amount either, catches on fire while it's still on your hand, and causes third degree burns to the left side of your body. Now let's say you have to go to the emergency room because of the cheap oven mitt I sold you and they have to do skin graphs on a third of your body. Now you can't work for six months, which means you can't afford to send your kid to Mount Rushmore on the school trip, so somebody starts a fund raiser on your behalf, and sticks a craptastic catalog on my desk. Now I ask you,  am I obligated to buy more than the cheapest thing?


So let me know Lifers what you think about the dreaded School Fund Raiser. Surely I'm not the only one righ?


  1. J-Man, you got bigger problems with urine, boogers and e-coli at work than the fundraiser. Believe me, this is nothin'.