Random Rants

Ok Lifers normally I would do my random rants Thursday, which this post started out as random rants, but I'm changing it up a bit. I want to take you through an official portion of A Day in the Life. Enjoy
Frequently I am texted by the DW with a list of items for me to pick up at the Evil Empire, you know, bread, milk, t.p, whatever. And frequently this request is followed by and a prize for me.

Now let me just say this is the kiss of death for any husband. You see my DW has requested a prize? So here I am on my way home. I have 30 minutes to think about what type of prize she wants. Thirty minutes to read her mind. Typically I will text back....why don't you just tell me what you want. That of course is followed by something like...then it wouldn't be a surprise...Nice.

So as I enter through the gates of Hell, I begin my quest. Do I go with a clothing item? New shirt? Nah. Pick up first item on the requested list. She's always complaining that she needs a new bra and panties? No way, not here. I come here like every day, to embarrassing. Not to mention I'd need to know sizes, and you know I'd get that wrong.  Think, think.What did she say last week that she wished she had? Dang it, I need to listen more. Pick up more items on list. Ok scower the isles it will come to me... Nothing. Flowers? She claims she doesn't like 'em. Magazine, book? She just reads those online, not to mention she has a ton of photog mags she's reading now. Pick up rest of items on list. Shopping is done, dang it what does she want? Let's try health and beauty. Soap, lotion? Those aren't very good prizes. Perfume? Not from here, to cheap. Dang it, I should pay more attention when she says she needs something. Ok what about food? I always get her a Kit-Kat. But she does love 'em. Ok maybe some other type of food? Crap, I've been wandering this store for nearly 40 minutes now, and I still don't have a PRIZE. DANG IT WOMAN WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT. Back to the front of store, nearing check-out. I think my roaming up and down every isle mumbling to myself has alerted the store security.

Finally check out and on my way home. 

Upon my return home, here, I got you a Kit-Kat........

J-Tony

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