Friday, February 11, 2011

New Hair

Ok Lifers, I have to get this off my chest. Now I'm sure the women Lifers out there will think I'm a jerk, but maybe the men can relate. But I've gotta put it out there.

The other day I come home from work, and the DW mentions that she was going to do something tomorrow. Now she says this all sly and fifth grader-ish like she just can't wait to spill the beans.

So I play along and say, what?

Again, she repeats something. Again, swaying back and forth as if we are on the school playground and she has a note that says I like you, do you like me circle yes or no, but doesn't want to give it to me.

So of course I guess right away that she's going to go get her hair done. Soon after she posts on Facebook how she's going to get new hair tomorrow.  

Boo -Ya , Nailed it.

Later that night she asks me what I think she should do with it? Of course, I give the typical male answer here. I dunno? Whatever?

The following day. The BIG DAY. The day of the BIG EVENT. She again, posts on FB how today's the day. New hair. Yippee, and all that jazz. So at this point I'm thinking she's going to come home basically with a new head right? I mean surely if you went through the trouble of posting it on FB it has to be Epic, right?

So after the BIG EVENT is over, she sends me some pictures on the phone. Naturally you can't see much, but I was puzzled at what I did see.

That night I arrived back at The Palace to see my lovely DW sitting in her usual spot working. When I approached her she asked me if I got the pictures of her new hair, and I told her I did but couldn't see much on the phone, but I could tell the difference. The difference being she added dark red highlights to her already long, still long brown hair. So of course she asks me what I think about her new hair.

Stop right here.

Now I've been married long enough now to know that this is not a real question. She doesn't really want to know what I think. She wants me to tell her that it looks great, and that I love the red highlights, and that's exactly what I would have done, had I been a chick with shoulder length brown hair, and wanted new hair. I know this. Deep down, I really know this. However, the words that come out of my mouth are not always reflective of the thoughts that are inside my head. Thoughts that I know I know.Here's how the conversation went.

Me: Yeah it looks OK..
DW: What do you think about the red streaks?
Me: Umm. I don't ..understand them? I thought you were going to to it?

And that's when the fight started. Well, it was more like an argument with her giving me that You Idiot look.

Now to me there didn't seem to be much that was new about it. No new length? No new major color change,  no new head? I didn't get it? I thought this was a BIG EVENT? You posted it on FB not just once, but twice. I thought this was the Summer of George (Seinfeld). I thought we were turning over some sort of new leaf or something, but instead, to me, it was Capone's vault.

Now she says she got it cut also, layered in fact, but I'm not sure what this is exactly, and I know I wouldn't be able to spot this on my own, but apparently it's was big deal as well. So now as I try to explain my lack of understanding for the red streaks, she quickly grabs the blackberry, and post OUR STATUS on Facebook.

So it's not bad enough that I have to be an insensitive jerk who doesn't get it in my own living room, but now I'm an insensitive jerk in the living room of all her 200 plus friends. Immediately the comments come pouring in, and yeah, I took a few lumps from the ladies on this one.

Now don't get me wrong here. The new hair looks great, and my DW is a beautiful women no matter if she has red streaks, green streaks, or shaves that head all Telly Savalas like. Probably just dated myself with the Cojack reference there didn't I? But It's not that I didn't like it, I just didn't get it?

So I guess I've learned my lesson again, the hard way, the next time she wants an answer needs an answer, I'll remember to give her the one she wants. Just another typical Day in the Life.


So tell me, guys, you ever stuck your foot in your mouth like this, and had to defend yourself to her friends as well? Ladies, how about you? Your fellas ever open mouth insert foot?

I'd love to hear your comments, so let me know. 


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