Below is an office memo I'd love to send out.
Now I believe it goes without saying that I am speaking mostly of in the men's room here, but ladies there may be a few takeaways for you as well so please read closely. This is something that has sadly been on my mind for some time now, and hopefully we can all read this, pass it on to our co-workers, who in turn pass it on to their co-worker and friends, and maybe eventually, I won't be grossed out every time I go to the men's room here at work.
With that said, I'm not sure why it's called the men's room. It would be more appropriate if it was labeled the men's dungeon or something like that, because It's certainly not a room a want to spend any time in, but I digress.
So here's a few things regarding bathroom etiquette at work, again for you ladies, I apologize, some of these items may be items you've never encountered in your little house on the prairie, however I don't suggest you stop reading. People need to know this. As much as it may pain us all, you may reap some benefits.
First of all men. We are all grown-ups here. Let's stop with the flipping, or wiping of your nasal mucus on the stalls and walls. Nobody, and I mean Nobody wants to see that.
Here's another thing fellas. Regardless of our work status relationship, I'm not big on the chit-chat at the urinal. Let's just get in and get out shall we? And while we're at the urinal, lets get the stance right. If you are either to lazy or to tired to stand up straight, go have a seat. There really should be no reason to lean over and put your free arm on the wall. Along with that, we're not peeing for distance here. Belly up to the bar so we're not leaving puddles that somebody has to stand in later. Got it.
Next let's discuss the whole, dropping the kids off at the pool procedures. Again, this should be a get in and get out process, with no extra sounds, grunts, or whatever else. The only way we should know you're in there is by the door being closed. If you must take a newspaper into the stall with you, please just go ahead and throw it away. Do not. I repeat do not put it back in the break room. And here's the thing. It's a small room, and I get that the btu's per watt on the fan is not adequate to keep the place smelling spring fresh. So why not help us all out and go with the old leave one, flush one method. Again, let's keep in mind, this experience should not be treated like it's Saturday morning, and you've got nothing better to do. After all you are at work pal. Let's keep it moving.
Last thing gents. WASH YOUR HANDS. And I'm not talking about the two second get 'em wet just to make an appearance at the sink type of washing. I'm talking about getting some soap, rubbing your hands together and actually washing them. This is what I tell my 4 year old, Make Bubbles Buddy. If it helps, try singing the alphabet song. When the song's done, your done, all clean. Good Job Buddy. And for crying out loud, make sure the paper towels get put in the trashcan. It's really not that hard.
Alright, let's pass this along and keep our men's room worthy of entering in the future.
Let me know if I missed anything? What drives you crazy about the bathrooms where you work?