Friday, January 28, 2011

What's Your Favorite Scary Movie

So have you ever scared yourself? I know it sounds sort of stupid to say, but you know, have you ever like spooked yourself?

The other night I was taking the trash cans out, and it was already pitch black outside. So I go through the garage to get to the outside. In doing so I closed the door and was standing in the dark in my garage. I said to myself that was pretty stupid, because I couldn't see my hand in front of my face it was so dark.You know like how when you first loose all light and it takes some time for your eyes to adjust? Well so anyway, I say this to myself, and immediately my brain starts playing out some sort of horror movie in my head. You know something like where I stand in a completely dark garage and say, that wasn't very smart now I have no light, just then some crazed lunatic lights a match or turns on a flashlight right next to me. He's like a cross between Freddy and Jason. You know someone real freaky like that.

So anyway, this is just the beginning. I still have to walk to the garage door and open it up into the cold night air. So now my mind starts playing tricks on me like when I open the door there's going to be some dude standing right on the other side. Somebody like Micheal Meyers or that creepy robot clown thing from Saw with the target logos on his face?

I open the garage door, and thankfully no boogie man. But now I have to lug the trash cans down the drive way, and it's still dark outside because we don't live in the city where your afforded street lights. So now I'm rolling these trash cans down the driveway all the while looking around wondering if I see shadows or something. But I can't see because I don't have my glasses on, so even if there was somebody out there I wouldn't see them because for some reason I was chosen to be one of those humans who can't see squat without their glasses. So now I'm dragging two 90 gallon trash cans down the drive squinting, looking from side to side for crazy guy with ax, creepy robot, or even a vampire or two. Hoping that something doesn't sneak up behind me, but the thing about that is, I wouldn't even be able to hear the robot's wheel chair because the trash cans are on rollers and I've got a gravel drive way, so they're making so much noise somebody could walk right up behind me and I'd never know.

So now I'm squinting looking from side to side for shadows and turning around behind me every fifth step or so to make sure there's nobody around. I get to the end of the driveway, and the neighbors dog starts barking. So naturally my mind starts to think of course, there's always a dog barking in horror movies right? Maybe the dog sees something? Or maybe the dog senses something, you know like something... paranormal? So now I'm heading back up to the house doing double time trying to rack my brain about was this land once some sort of burial ground that only had the head stones moved, (Poltergeist)?

I finally get back up to the garage, but just like every bad horror movie instead of going around to a door, I go back through the dark garage (don't go in there, that's where the killer is!!!) I quickly pull down the garage door and run up into the house. I jump inside and lock the door behind me.

I calmly explain to the DW that It's cold out there.


So have you ever scared yourself?


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