Saturday, January 8, 2011

Crazy Man's Struggle

Ok so today I'm struggling. Struggling like a mad man in a padded room. Struggling like an epic battle between good and evil. I don't like this struggle. It's the classic struggle of knowing what you should do, yet wanting to do the exact opposite.

Let me start by giving you a little insight. Last week before I left on my trip we had cleaned the house. It looked pretty good. Well as good as a little house with three clowns can look at the time. There were no toys strung out all over the floors. There was no clean laundry in the baskets waiting to be folded, there were no dishes in the sinks awaiting my attention, and you could walk in the clowns rooms. I was comfortable, and see that's the thing to me about a messy house. I've finally realized what the feeling is. It's comfort. I always have this feeling inside about my house. To me it's either comfortable or its not. I find that when the place is lived in, it's not very comfortable to me, but when everything is picked up and in it's place, I feel comfortable. Now I use the term lived in because again, I have three clowns, and my DW works from home, so things are going to get out of order and lived in. My problem is when that order is disrupted or it's lived in for any length of time, I get uncomfortable, and it makes me crazy. Maybe a little neurotic I know.

Ok so anyway back to my struggle. When I left the house was nice and comfy. Upon my return, it was not so much. Now don't get me wrong, the house didn't look like some crack house in the middle of the projects, but there were items in the living room. There were clothes in laundry baskets, dirty dishes, and the clowns rooms were rough at best. The DW was not at home so I quickly sent her a text explaining my feelings .Now after I came down off the ledge, the clowns and I began to pick up a bit. I realized that this is one of those moments where you should be grateful and thankful for what you have. Here I had been gone for a week, and upon my return the first thing that hits me is the fact that the house is not up to my standards .There's a couple things wrong with that. One, stop being a jerk, and two, be glad you have a home and beautiful family to come home to.

So the clowns and I get cleaned up a bit and head to Cracker Barrel for some dinner. The DW called a little later and I apologized for sending my text. I told her that I over reacted, and that I was sorry, and I am, and was.

Now to the struggle. See the DW is on an all day photo shoot today. She won't be home until late. Which leaves me with the clowns and the house all day. I've spent the first half of the day lounging around drinking coffee and contemplating doing housework. Yes the clowns have managed to make the living room look like Toys R Us threw-up in here. There are now dishes in the sink from breakfast, the rooms are a mess, and the laundry never stops. My house is uncomfortable to me. I look around and there is work to be done. I sit and drink coffee. The dishwasher needs unloaded and loaded again. I sit and watch t.v. The clowns need baths. I sit and read blogs. Laundry needs folded. I sit and play solitaire. Beds and rooms need attention. I sit. I sit. I sit.

My struggle is one of epic proportion. I hate my house to be uncomfortable, yet today, I don't feel like doing anything to change it. I'm comfortable in my uncomfortable house. I look at the sink? Don't want to do 'em. The laundry? We've all got clothes on. The bedrooms? There's a path. The beds? We'll make em tomorrow. The snuggie on the couch? Someone might use it later.The carpet? It can wait.

So I guess as the day progresses, I might find the time, and energy to do some house work before the DW gets home. Maybe I'll get out of the comfort zone I'm in and make this place comfortable. Or maybe we'll get cleaned up and get out of the house so I won't have to deal, and hopefully, maybe, the DW won't have the same feelings that I had yesterday. Here's hoping.


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