Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Put me in Coach....

So last month a couple of my clowns decided they wanted to sign up for baseball this year. So I signed them up, and on the sign up sheet that says would you be willing to help out, I checked yes.

I'll let you in on a little secret. When they ask you if you'd like to help out , that's really code for you're going to be the coach. I've now experienced this twice in the last three months for two different sports, so I'm pretty sure it's a rule or something.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be involved in some capacity with my kids' team. What I had in mind was to yell from the sidelines, and then when I feel like my kids aren't getting the playing time they deserve, I chastise the coach. You know, something like that.

So anyway, I'm now the coach of my son and daughter's baseball team. I've got 13 kids. Boy's and girls ranging from 5 to 8 in age. No big deal right?

Last week we had our first practice. It was a little Helter Skelter out on the field, and I'll admit I should have been a little more prepared. After practice one of the mothers grabs me and wants to talk. Ok sure. So she asks me questions like how many kids do we have, in case she wants to bring juice boxes or something. Would I call if practice was cancelled, and how long will they typically last.  I chalk them all up as simple mom questions. No harm in that. And maybe something I should have addressed from the beginning. Then she throws me a curve ball and says, So I noticed there was a lot of standing around, to which I explain, yeah it's baseball, that happens from time to time. Then she comes back with, so how are we going to keep the kids engaged?

What?? Um, OK lady.

So I get back to the car and tell the DW about this lady and her Keep the Kids Engaged comment, and immediately the DW goes into Al Pacino, Scarface mode as if somebody has just gone against the family, and she's ready to put a horse head in this lady's bed.

Now according to the DW this lady was chastising my coaching skills. Ok first, that was supposed to be my job. And second, WTH lady. It's the first practice of the year? In fact its the first baseball practice of my life as a coach. Cut me some slack.

I should have let her know that I'm only one coach, and she's welcome, in fact encouraged, to come out onto the field and help me out. But I didn't. In fact, I didn't really think anything of her comment until the DW started singing Pink, Na na na na na na na we're gonna gettn' a fight.

So anyway, I got a feeling this one's gonna be difficult. Wish me Luck.


  1. And it begins. When your uncle coached basketball, baseball etc. I was like your wife. I took offense any time a parent was bad mouthing the coach. So one day I had had enough and stood up and screamed "next year you can be the coach." They never said anything again about the coach. lol This mom you are talking about there is one on every team. Make her a "team mom". Let her be in charge of all the snacks and important things that go with a team. lol That will shut her up quick. Glad to see you back on your blog. I have missed it. Love, Aunt Ny

  2. Your Uncle Larry just said you now have an assistant. He also said "wait until I get there and work the crowd into a frenzy." lol

  3. Oh boy, you do need some luck. I coached soccer from 4-6 years old. By then they could stand in line (mostly) and run the right direction on the field (mostly) so I decided my job was done and turned it over to the next gullible group that marked the box that they'd like to help. ;-)

  4. Duuude! It's going to be a looong season with parents like that! But I don't think you missed your chance to ask them to help. Next practice, at the end of it (after that mom has longer to stew that you are not "engaging" the kids) you should say if anyone wants to help that you would welcome it.

    Best of luck dude!