Monday, April 8, 2013

It's not me, It's you...

I'd be as skinny as a super model; I'd be rail thin.

These are the words that came out of my 10 year old daughters mouth the other day while we were eating lunch. I don't remember exactly what led up to her saying this, but it had to do with eating, or maybe not eating.

My guess is this is not the first time my daughter has thought of herself as less than skinny. Or saw herself as less than perfect. Now of course the DW jumped right on it and explained to her that she was skinny as a rail, and that she was perfect just the way she was.

For years I've read or heard women complaining about the Barbie image that men want. They say it's us men who expect the size zero with the large breast. It's us men who drive the image of what a woman should look like. It's us men creating an unattainable figure.

But the truth is ladies. It's not us, its you.

That's right. It's you women constantly talking about being fat that our young ladies hear. It's you mothers, and wives who I hear weekly if not daily complaining about this or that being to big. It's you who paint the picture of what makes a women. My guess is my daughter hears it too.

Look ladies, I get that you want to eat better or loose a few pounds, or just want to be healthier in general. That's great.  

But you're a guy it's different.

Sure it's different. The difference is I don't let it bother me. I don't have this imaginary figure in my head of what I should look like. It doesn't determine who I am. I don't feel like I have to achieve this perfect image.

But you're skinny.

You're right. I am skinny by most standards. But I don't look the way I did when I was 25 either. Things change. Life changes. Having six pack abs doesn't make me a better man any more than being a size smaller makes you a better woman.  
But I've gained 20 pounds since the baby.

Big deal. Unless you have health risks, big deal. Your husband still loves you, your child loves you, your parents love you. Now you start loving you.

My point is this. It's hard to be a father of two girls in this day and age. Two girls who are no doubt going to have their fair share of insecurities along they way. All I'm saying is, I could sure use your help.



  1. Ya know what? You are absolutely right. I've said it for a long time - it's not the guys that expect perfection. It's women who expect it, compare themselves to other women, hold themselves up to airbrushed standards, and set a precedence for generations of women behind them to do the same. Choose to buck the system, ladies. Choose to love yourself just the way you are. If you need to improve your health one way or another, great, do just that. But drop the unrealistic body image talk. It doesn't just hurt you, it can hurt those that overhear it, as well.

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  3. Yup, not sure how to break that cycle. It's a bitch.