Saturday, February 11, 2012

Me and My Girl

We buckle up and turn the radio on. It's just her and I in the car. She's the one I spend the most one on one time with out of the three. Maybe because she's the oldest. We can actually talk. Have like interests. Music seems to be a common thread for us.

I watch her as she sits next to me. She's not a little girl anymore. Maybe I'm hardest on her. I expect more because she's the oldest. Or maybe because she's the easiest, I'm not sure which. She does her own thing. She knows better. I know it's not fair. In the car she's mesmerized by the snow flakes that have begun to fall from the night sky. On the windshield we look for two that are alike. Eventually she gets lost in the radio and begins to sing.

I think back about the last few hours we just spent with my father in-law and his two daughters. I hate Chinese food. I don't complain. At least not with any real seriousness. I go along because its not for me. I know this. No this is a birthday celebration for him. A time for him to spend with his girls and their families.

 The place was busy. Friday night. We sat in the back room. It's a room that gives the impression that it was designed for families with rowdy clowns. My family. We spend our time talking and eating. Talking about the future, and reminiscing about yesterday. I enjoyed the time. It gives perspective. Meaning. Purpose. I think about how my clown will one day have a family of her own. I think about the song the cats in the cradle, and it makes me appreciate our ride home together. Just the two of us.

We get home and again it's just the two of us. At one point I say how proud I am of her, just in general. Nothing specific. She's a good kid, and I think it's an important thing to say. She blows it off, as if I'm obligated to say it. She's funny like that. She doesn't want the same affection the middle clown wants, and doesn't need the same affection the youngest clown needs.

Soon our time is interrupted as the others come home. It was fun while it lasted.


Just Write


  1. Love those on on one moments with the grand-kids, too. Special and very different as they are so different.

  2. Keep saying you're proud. Because whether she thinks she wants to hear it or not, she does. They all do. We all do. And as an adult, she'll think back and smile, and know deep down without question that you were proud of her.

  3. I love that you tell her you are proud of her. She definitely needs to hear it, whether she lets on or not.

    I know I'm harder on Bud. I have the same uncertainty, I'm not sure if it's because he's older or because he's easier. Probably both.

    Have a great day!