There's a lyric in a song by Blink 182 that says; Well I guess this is growing up.
I feel like this has been me and my life for the last month. Up until now I've never really felt grown up. Sure I've been able to make grown up decisions, but I'm not talking about being 18 or 21 and the decisions and responsibilities that go along with those ages. No, I'm talking about being A Grown Up.
This month I've seen people close to me in the hospital with heart failure. People lose jobs they've been at for years, and a life long marriage begin to crumble. I've seen babies graduate high school and my own clowns reach age milestones. Life is happening all around me, and I'm not sure I'm prepared.
Watching my clowns grow up reminds me of an easier time. A time when I was younger and things like death, financial burden or divorce didn't happen, or happened to other people anyway. It was kids I went to school with or neighbors my parents told me about, not people that affected me. Maybe it was just easier because these things are grown up issues and I wasn't supposed to know about them? Either way, life was easier then.
I guess I'll just be thankful for what I have, and for the moment because you truly never know what's around the corner. After all, I guess this is growing up.
J-Tony
I feel like this has been me and my life for the last month. Up until now I've never really felt grown up. Sure I've been able to make grown up decisions, but I'm not talking about being 18 or 21 and the decisions and responsibilities that go along with those ages. No, I'm talking about being A Grown Up.
This month I've seen people close to me in the hospital with heart failure. People lose jobs they've been at for years, and a life long marriage begin to crumble. I've seen babies graduate high school and my own clowns reach age milestones. Life is happening all around me, and I'm not sure I'm prepared.
Watching my clowns grow up reminds me of an easier time. A time when I was younger and things like death, financial burden or divorce didn't happen, or happened to other people anyway. It was kids I went to school with or neighbors my parents told me about, not people that affected me. Maybe it was just easier because these things are grown up issues and I wasn't supposed to know about them? Either way, life was easier then.
I guess I'll just be thankful for what I have, and for the moment because you truly never know what's around the corner. After all, I guess this is growing up.
J-Tony
This completely describes my last 10 years. I'm still not ready for it. When I stop to really look at it, really think about it, it sort of takes my breath away - some in good ways, some in bad ways. Some days I just don't want to grow up!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I have to remind myself that I'M the mom. Crap, how did that happen?
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