Thursday, June 28, 2012

Say it like you mean it....@#$%&$#

When I was younger I had what you might call a potty mouth. Now I'm not talking about removing my pacifier to cuss out Mr. Green Jeans or anything....Captin Kangaroo??? Anyone?? Anyone???

Anyway, I'm mostly talking about when life actually starts to go to hell. You know, the teen years.
But now that I'm a parent I'm pretty aware of the things that come out of my mouth. Nothing like having to explain why your clown is calling her first grade classmates douchtards.
But just because I choose not to cuss, most of the time, doesn't mean I can't or don't remember all the good ones.

My DW on the other hand....

See the DW was what I'd consider a sheltered child. And because of this as an adult she has a hard time in the art of profanity. Yes I say art. Some of us can spew dirty language with great gusto you know. Myself, I always find my artistic side while working on vehicles.

Back to my point. The DW.

Now on the very, very rare occasion that she gets so mad that something like this comes out of her mouth, well, plain and simple she doesn't know how to cuss right. Oh sure she knows the words, shit, hell, damn, even the grandaddy of 'em all the big MF. But she doesn't know how to use them together. I think the majority of her problem is timing. Maybe if she had a minute to think she'd be better at the cussword combo. But in the heat if the moment you don't have that kind of time you just gotta let 'er fly, and when she does it turns out more comical then Bad Ass. Not that cussing at the jerk who pulled out in front of you makes you a bad ass but you get my point.


So she knows the words but her combinations just don't go together. It's sort of like eating green beans with spaghetti. You see she says things like damn shit, or mother asshole. Hell damn and shit hell. Its more of a sling shot approach where one word comes at you at a time. Not like us professionals who use the machine gun approach and just rapid fire until we're out of breath.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm glad I'm not married to a gal who makes a sailor blush with the language she uses, but just once it'd be nice if she could get the right combo in the moment.


So tell me are you more of a sling shot cusser or a gangster with a uzi.


  1. LOL!!! I would chuckle too at her sling shot ways. Love it!

    I try not to curse and sometimes I can get away with saying Shhhhh instead of the whole word but when I let 'er fly I'm like a gangster with two Uzi's. I'm ladylike like that! :-)

  2. I try to uphold my squeaky clean, but truth be told, I can make a sailor blush. Probably not really something I should be proud of.

  3. Very funny! My son has picked up "What the?" and "Son-of-a" because that's where I now stop with my trash mouth, but truthfully, it's just as horrible hearing the abbreviated versions come out of his mouth.

  4. my kids say ....this is tish, you played like tish, that glove you have is just tish.... if you rearrange the letters you will see what it spells and they somehow get away with this slang in our house.