Friday, July 15, 2011

I Can't Handle the Pressure

Hey Lifers....

So tomorrow is my middle clowns 7th Birthday. Happy Birthday Lu Ann.

I don't like birthday's. Well more to the point, I don't like birthday parties. There's to much pressure.

Now we typically only have family over to celebrate the clown's birthday, so you would think that the pressure wouldn't get to me, but I crack.

I always feel like birthday parties are in stages. First the introduction stage. This is when everybody first comes in. Now during this stage I always feel like I have to work the room. Going from person to person shakin' hands and kissing babies, or pulling a quarter out of someones ear. You all having a good time over here tonight? Good, good to see you.Thanks for coming out. Hope you enjoy the show.

After I've worked the room a bit I feel like as the host I'm obligated to integrate the two families. You know like hey dad I was just over there on the couch talking to the in-laws and did you know that Burt just bought a new 14.5 horse power Craftsman riding mower? You should go talk to him about it.....I don't know who Burt is.

So after that we move to phase two, presents and cake. This is where I start to crack. You see I think there is a fine line between making small birthday party talk and having a boring birthday party where your guests want to jab something sharp in their eye. And like I said, this is where I crack.  
Do we hurry up and open the gifts, or do we have cake first? Do we have cake while she's opening gifts, or is it separate altogether? And don't forget the ice-cream. Go around and take orders. Chocolate or vanilla, don't screw it up. Grandpa wants cake but no ice-cream. Grandma wants ice-cream but no cake. Oh man, room is spinning, clowns yelling, people want sugary goodness.

After I've had a sedative the DW has talked me down off the ledge and the presents are opened, and the clowns are playing, I begin to mellow. It's time for stage three. The hang around and visit period. I like this part. My clowns are happy. They got lots of nice gifts, they're playing and haven't  care in the world, and they'll remember this day. The day we came together to celebrate them.

So Happy Birthday to my baby girl, and I apologize ahead of time if Daddy seems a little high strung. It takes awhile for the meds to kick in.


Tell me Lifers, how are Birthday parties for your clowns.


  1. Oh how I remember the boys birthday parties. There was so much pressure on me I couldn't even enjoy the party. It will be hard but try to enjoy her day.

  2. I know what you mean. But the kids love em.

  3. This cracked me up. I just might have similar feelings when it comes to gatherings like this ;)