Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Single Dude vs Married Dude

Hey Lifers...

So awhile back I had the pleasure duties of taking a little road trip for work. This little trip was only about a four hour drive. The plan was to drive up and get there mid-morning, do our thang, grab some lunch and back by late afternoon early evening. No biggie right? I've done this type of trip several times during my stay at the Shawshank.

Here's the thing. I went with three other guys. Two of which are also happily married. Noticed how I put happily in there just in case the DW reads this. Pretty smart huh? 

Anyhow, the third guy. Single. Divorced. Bitter.

For our purposes here we'll call him Little Sheen.

Now Little Sheen was a man with many stories. Stories of drinking. Stories of The Ladies. And stories of parties. Hence Little Sheen. But you know the guy. Stories that end up in the back pages of some dirty magazine. 

So to make a long story short, I had to spend nearly 10 hours straight with this guy listening to his stories about how he's such a Ladies man. I had to watch him texting said Ladies, and generally be in love with himself.

Now don't get me wrong here. There was a part of me that was hanging on every word of every one of Little Sheens stories. Part of which because I wanted to call BS, but part because, and lets face it, I've been out of the game for a long time. I wanted to see if the rules had changed.

So there we were the three married guys all day long listening to LS rant and rave about his Ladies, all the while rolling our eyes. Every now and then one of us would throw in an oh yeah, or really, just to keep him going.

On our way home he sends a single guy text to one of his Ladies, and when he repeated her reply to us, I'd had enough.

I asked him what his text said to her. Quickly I grab my phone and text the DW exactly what he had sent his Lady.

At this point I encouraged the other two married schmucks guys to send that text to their wives as well. Of course they didn't. But me? I was fed up. Fed up with his stupid oh look at me I'm such a playar, look at me out all hours of the night closing the bars down, getting chicks, being funny and charming routine. I had to prove that I too could still charm my Lady, and get the chick. I had to do it for all us married men out there. I had to prove to the single guy that life on this side is just as exciting, and just as spontaneous. Prove that I still got it. 

Here's what his text said:

Rolling home babe wanna get naked tonight, I mean hang out. ha ha.

I know right? And no he didn't look like this dude.

OK so I send exactly the same text to the DW.Rolling home babe wanna get naked tonight, I mean hang out. ha ha.

Her reply: How does one confuse get naked with hang out?

At least it wasn't a no.




  1. Ah, the married life....


  2. Omg. Now that text makes sense.

  3. hahaha. I probably would have written something along the lines of "I know whenever I'm naked something is hanging. You don't need to rub it in!"