Thursday, September 29, 2011

Flashback Friday...

It was the summer before 8th grade. My school would be having their annual 8th grade field trip soon. This year they would be going to Washington DC. I sooo wanted to go. Not because it was DC and the history and blah blah blah. No, I was more interested in the fact that I would be away from my parents for a week. I would be hanging with my buddies, and there would be girls. Duh why wouldn't I want to go?

Now like I said, I was about to be in the 8th grade and to me, I was the coolest dude I knew. You know everybody has a role in the click. The nerd, the jock, the guy who gets the girls, whatever it is, there are defined roles. And for me, in this click, I was the cool guy. Maybe if you talked to someone else in the group I was the loose cannon. You know there's always one of those in the click too. But anyway.

So the summer before the DC trip my mom worked out a deal with my aunt for me to mow her lawn to earn some extra cash. It seemed like a decent little way for me to work my way toward a week of freedom. Of course I wasn't free, but in my eyes it was a vacation. So I began cutting my aunts yard for 10 or 20 bucks, I really don't remember the amount. Anyway, my aunt would drive down to our house, pick me up and usually drop me back off when I was done.

Now this one particular Saturday I was home alone. My aunt was supposed to pick me up soon so I had some time to kill in an empty house......let me stop here.

If you have a 13 or 14 year old son do not leave them alone in your house if at all possible. I assure you, they will do something they're not supposed to...just in case you didn't catch that part....DON'T LEAVE THEM ALONE.

Back to my story. Now my dad was in the service back in the day so he had a few old rifles in his closet. I knew this. I knew that I wasn't supposed to mess with them. But, I also knew that my aunt wouldn't be by for a little while, so I decided to have a look see at said rifles.

I'm not a gun guy so I couldn't tell you what type they were. All I know is that you pulled back the chamber thingy where the bullet goes and pull the trigger. So there I am standing in my parents bedroom about to fire this thing. I was pretty sure there wasn't any bullets in the gun so firing one off wouldn't be a big deal. But just in case, I thought, I'll just aim at their bed.....their water bed. Yeah, I said I'd just aim at their water bed......

Now in all honesty I really thought I'd pull the trigger and it'd make a click and that'd be it. No harm no foul right?


If you've ever seen A Christmas Story then you know somewhat how I felt.
I take aim...pull the trigger back....BOOM.....

It was so loud. I immediately see the covers flutter. My ears are ringing like crazy, and my heart is pounding out of my chest. It scared the livin' crap out of me.....

OMG I just shot their bed...
I'm freakin' out. I put the gun back where I got it...What? OMG I'm deaf. I can't hear, my ears are ringing. Nice, I've shot my parents water bed and made myself deaf. OMG what am I going to tell my parents....What? Crap. I can't even hear myself think...

Now about this time my aunt pulls up into our driveway. I scurry around the house, get ready and leave with her. Scared to death of what I've just done, but I think maybe nobody will know.

The entire time I'm mowing my aunts grass I'm thinking about it. It's somewhat funny to me just because it scared me so much. It was almost rush like. A little while later my hearing returns, I finish mowing, and my aunt takes me home. I return to find my mom in the living room noticeably upset.

I ask her what's wrong, waiting for her barge of questions about what happened before I left. I'm prepared to duck and weave as I'm sure a few backhands upside the head are coming my way. I stand there patiently, maybe preparing some fabricated story in my mind, just like Ralphie.

Then she explains to me that when she got home she was doing some cleaning. She took the drawers out of her dresser and set them on her bed, and one of the corners must have punctured the bed because now it's leaking.

What? Could it be? Could I possible be off the hook? Does she really think she did it? Wait a she messing with me just to see if I'll confess?

Turns out she was completely serious. She believed she did it.....I was home free.........

Except I wasn't.

I ended up telling her the truth about what happened. Or at least about what I did, and what I believed to be the truth. We tried to put the pieces together. Did I really shoot the bed? Was there a bullet in the gun? Or did she stack to many drawers on top of the bed? 

Naturally my mom was upset with what I did, and I'm not proud of it myself, but she didn't tell my dad it was me. She took the fall. Maybe because she was afraid he'd actually kill me. And he just might have. Maybe she was just being a mom and protecting her child no matter how stupid he was.

You know, I'm not sure to this day that he knows. So just in case he happens to read this...Dad I'm sorry about the water bed back in like '86-'87.


Tell me Lifers...Ever do anything stupid that a parent covered for ya?


  1. No! I mean I did plenty of stupid stuff but NO ONE ever covered for me.

  2. I’m pretty sure my parents never covered for me but I’m also pretty sure I never shot their waterbed with a rifle.

    However, I did drive my mom's car into the house once. She didn't cover for me.

    You’re mom is a saint! (And your childhood is the BEST blog material!)