Thursday, January 12, 2012

Celebs I'd like to Punch in the Throat

Hey Lifers...

I proudly give you my list of Celebs I'd like to throat punch.

10. Dolly Parton. I recently saw that Dolly's in a new movie with Queen Latifah. Come on Dolly, I think you've milked those things long enough. I think its time to saddle up those jugs and ride off into the sunset.Go be a grandma or something. You've worked them thing from 9 to 5. Your shifts over.

9. Kate Goslin and the Octomom Chick: This is sort of a two parter just because they're both idiots. I mean who really wants that many kids? I'd like to punch them both in the throat for cashing in on making their vagina's an amusement park.

8. Casey Anthony: Yeah I know she's not exactly a celebrity, but do I really need a reason to punch that thing in the throat?

7. Scott Disick: This is the DB from the Kardashians. Yes I admit, I watch Kourtney and Kim take New York, so shoot me. Anyway, if you watch this show then you know exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, is there a bigger jerk on t.v that's more throat punch worthy? I think not.

6. Lindsay Lohan: Come on, she's a grease fire. And recently I heard she was posing, or did pose for Playboy. What? This obviously is not the same Playboy that I know. This must be some sort of crack head, meth user edition that I've never heard of.

5. Jay-Z and Beyonce: This is another two for one throat punch: First of all, who names their kid a color? And if that wasn't bad enough they threw in the name of a plant. I also heard yesterday there was a big uproar because the hospital had to close off a section of the nursery for privacy reasons. Seriously? Seriously? Yeah you both need a good throat punchin'.

4. Edward what's his face from those Vampire movies. I know this is not his name, but I didn't want to waste my time looking it up. Besides, you know who I'm talking about. The really pale guy.  Anyway, its because of this no talent ass clown that my DW has fallen in love with Vampires. I'd like to punch him and his werewolf buddies in the throat.

3. Dr. Phil: What a con artist. How about I punch you in the throat Mr. Obvious.

2. Charlie Sheen: Last week this dude actually came out and annouounced that he's not crazy...anymore. Who are you trying to convince? I think if you have to come out and publicly announce that you're no longer crazy. Chances are your still a little....Coo, Coo, Coo.

1. The BCS: Yeah I know it's not exactly a Celeb, but whatev. The bowl season is to long, and by the time the Championship game rolls around nobody cares.  Come on BCS can you say Playoff....

So tell me, who would you like to punch in the throat?  


  1. I am ok with all of these throat punchings. I also dislike the set celebrity's you named here. I would like to punch Jason Stathem in his throat to see if he was lying about doing his own stunts in transporter.

  2. 10 is an awfully small number for a list like this, don't you think? But, I'd pretty much have to agree with what you have there. BTW, I just went back and read your Love Thy Neighbor post that was featured over there on the right under popular posts - O-M-G - I laughed so hard!

  3. Although I don't know some of those celebrities (yeah, I don't watch anything to do with Kourtney or Kim) I'm going to take your word on the ones I don't know and agree with you. And since you didn't 100% stick to the whole "celebrity" thing I have two to add. Time Warner Cable and MSG Network need a BIG GIANT throat punch, and the throat punching should continue until they get my NY Rangers BACK ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DB's!!!!

    Sorry, I'm better now. (Not really. I won't really be better until they get MSG back on the air!!!!)