Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Why I won't delete January 24th 2012 from my memory......

So yesterday I had one of those days that I wish I could just erase. Wouldn't that be awesome? To just erase days that suck.

 So anyway, I came home and I was feeling down and sort of sorry for myself. Feeling like I've failed. Feeling like there has to be more. More I should, or could do for my family. Feeling like I'm wasting time, wasting my life, not making the right decisions. Not doing enough. Maybe just feeling sorry for myself. Whatever, it was. I decided to drown my sorrows in music. That's sort of my thang. I get the 'ol Pandora loaded up, pop in the ear buds, and get away, as much I can with three clowns running around. I clean house a bit, do dishes, and get some laundry done. A little later I grab the guitar and learn a new song, Collide by Howie Day. Cool little diddy by the way.

Later that night I get a post up on A Day in the Life, then head to all the other wonderful blogs out there that I folllow, still feeling down.

I read all my usual blogs and make some comments, just like normal. Then I see a post from the pastor at our previous church. Who just happens to have throat cancer. His post title, Hang On.

In his post Pastor Chris talks about his battle with cancer and his treatment. He preaches about hanging on to your hope, your commitments, your dreams, your priorities and your prayers in tough times.

As I'm reading his post, my eyes begin to tear up, and my immediate thought is, I'm suck a dick. OK maybe that's a little harsh. But I did feel like a jerk, and a little pissed at myself for feeling the way I had all day. There are so many other people out there, good people, great people, who are going through, or have gone through so much more than me. I'm so thankful for who I am, and what I have, or at least I should be.

So in the midst of my craptastic day, I learned, yet again, that there is always somebody out there that has a heavier load to tow than I. 

So glad I didn't delete January 24th 2012.

J-Tony

5 comments:

  1. I am having one of those days today...

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  2. Here's the thing. I completely agree that there is always someone that has it worse, has "more reason" to be down but that doesn't make your problems less significant. Because they are YOUR problems and you have to deal with them. I think everyone is entitled to a Woe Is Me Day now and then...but it's great when a little perspective can snap you out of your funk.

    Hope your Pastor is doing ok.

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  3. Thanks for sharing this. I hate to admit that has happened to me more times than I'd like to admit. I guess we're all entitled to have one of those days, but we're better when we pull ourselves out of it with the realization that there are too many others than have it worse.

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  4. I've been having lots of those days lately. Glad to know I'm not alone!

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