Tuesday, November 30, 2010

This Is Only A Test

So I saw something I thought was pretty interesting the other day.

A football player, in this past weekend's game, dropped a pass that would have given his team a victory over one of the premier teams in the league. Following his mishap he had this to post on his twitter account:

"I praise you 24/7 and this is how you do me!! You expect me to learn from this?? How?? I will never forget this ever!! Thanks Tho..."

Now we've all heard the typical sports cliche after some athlete scores the winning touchdown, goal, or point, "I just want to give thanks to God for helping me score and for us winning". I for one have always thought that was bologna. God doesn't care about sports.....Does he?

Now upon first hearing of and reading his post I was really shocked. In fact I've had to read it several times just to wrap my mind around it. Now not knowing this guy personally and not knowing who he praises 24/7, I can only assume he's speaking of God. It certainly made me think.

Now at first I was appalled. I thought, is this guy for real? What blasphemy. Is he seriously blaming God for him missing the ball? Then I thought could it be that God is some how the reason for him dropping the game winning pass? The more I thought about his tweet, the more I thought yeah, I believe God could be the reason why he dropped that pass.

We tend to think or remember God on our terms and just like this guy, we think that He owes us something. We give thanks to God for the many blessings we have or when things go right in our life, but do we ever look to him when things go bad? When we screw-up do we ever think it's because of God that this happened? 

Now before you get to excited, let me explain.

A little back story on the football player. The game before this one he had a career best game. He caught 3 touchdown passes led his team in yards, and was unstoppable on the field. However, like so many professional athletes he put on "a show" in front of the camera and ended up getting fined by the league for his antics and ridiculed by his peers.

Which leads me to my thoughts on this. When we are in school we are tested to see how well we know the material. Did we listen during lecture, did we study? We take these test to see how well prepared we are. I believe God acts in this very same way.

See God tests us (not temps, tests). He tests us to see how well prepared we are. He tests us to see where are hearts are. He tests us to see how loyal we are. Again we tend to think on our time and terms, but I don't believe God works that way. I believe God works on his time, his conditions.

Now again, I don't know this football player, and I really don't know where his head was when he posted this tweet, I can only try to take if for what it says, and try not to read anything into it, but maybe he is being tested to be humbled? I believe God tests us each and every day to humble us. To let us know just who we are, and who He is.

So anyway, not that my blog is a religious forum or anything, but I found it very interesting how much press this tweet was getting. It made me think, maybe the next time I screw-up I should take note and remember this is a test, and who knows, maybe God does care about sports.

J-Tony

Monday, November 29, 2010

Doing Homework

Ok so for the record, the Turkey was good.

All right well my ego is now shot. I just tried to help the oldest with her math homework and got so confused that I had to call the DW in from the bullpen to close the deal. I'm so ashamed. Normally I don't have any problems helping her, but tonight I just couldn't get my head around it. How sad is that, that I have to build myself up by even writing that normally I don't have any problems with my 3rd graders homework. Wow are they in trouble in a few years, here's hoping the DW can keep up. Ok so maybe Math is not my strong suit. 

So today was a pretty normal Monday. Not much going on. The DW and I both trying to get healthy, although I may be a little better then she is at this point. She finally did break down and go to the doctor today so maybe that will start to help.

Tonight is one of those nights where I really have nothing to say. Yeah I had this little blurb I was going to post about my son, and how much he reminds me of me, but I don't feel much like posting it tonight. I'm just not feeling very creative and I don't want to sound to much like one of those parents who just talks about their kids (although isn't that what parents are supposed to do?)

So anyway, I guess I'll cut is short tonight and think about something decent to post for tomorrow. Maybe I'll go work on my math skills.

J-Tony

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Being Sick and Eating Turkey

Ok so I didn't post anything yesterday because I was to sick. I slept a good portion of the day away, and the other portion I didn't feel like doing much. Still not feeling 100% today, but somewhat better. I'm fighting a stomach bug. I believe the same one my clowns just got over. Throw in a fever and body aches and it makes it rough.

So anyway today is Sunday. We didn't go to church again today because of the sickness that has surrounded our house the last couple of weeks. The DW still has a head cold as well. So we'll take today and pretty much do nothing again. I know the kids are getting a little cabin fever, but what are you gonna' do?

We did have a pretty decent Thanksgiving day. We spent the day with my side of the family. Did the traditional meal watch football, look at store adds, discuss Christmas gifts. It was nice to get together.

So anyway on our way to my parents house for Thanksgiving, the DW decides she wants to make a Turkey. Says she's never cooked one and wants to try. Now it was suggested to her that maybe she start with something smaller, sort of a test run if you will, like a chicken or maybe a Cornish game hen something like that. However, when my DW gets something in her head that she wants or wants to do, that's usually the way it goes. So yesterday she went to the store and purchased a 12 pound turkey. So we'll see how it goes. So far it smells great. So we're going to have a mini Thanksgiving meal at the house tonight, and I'll be eating it even if it kills me.....I mean because of the stomach issues.

J-Tony

Friday, November 26, 2010

What We've Got Here Is.......

Ok so I've been changing up the blog for the last week or so. It's funny because in the beginning I just wanted to have a blog. I didn't really care what it looked like or anything. I just thought let's just get something up there, but now since I'm down with O.P.B (other people's Blogs), I want to change it almost daily. So that's what I've been doing. I've discovered that I can add video's (thanks to the DW), pictures (again thanks to the DW), and even add different pages, yep you guessed it, thanks to the DW. Ok so in the beginning I had no idea what I was doing, and I'm not all that tech savvy, but that's why I love the DW, she fills the gaps. So pardon the many changes. I'm sure there will be plenty more to come as I find the right combination's.

So today has been pretty lazy, yet productive. Is that possible?

It started off for me early this morning again with a clown puking. Yes the 3rd one finally got it. He woke up about 2 or so heaving and scared. The DW got up initially with him and helped him out. Being the great husband I am, I got up as well. The DW has been fighting a head cold for the last few days so I figured I'd stay up with the boy while she went back to sleep. So needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night. If it wasn't the boy puking it was the stupid cat playing with the Christmas tree. We put it up the other day, and of course he feels the need to play with the ornaments and he has climbed it now once. So in between clean-up duty with the boy I was chasing the cat around with a spray bottle. Anyway, the kicker is this morning about 8 o'clock or so, mini-me springs up from the couch and announces "wake E, wake E" like we had a sleep over or something, and that's why he was on the couch and I was in the recliner? Me of course, feeling like I've spent the night "in the box" (Cool Hand Luke, great movie), looked at him with one eye and asked are you serious?

Apparently he was serious because he hasn't stopped. No more stomach issues and he's eaten like a horse all day long. So let's hope it's completely gone.

So about the lazy yet productive day. Once I got my first few cups of coffee down me, I was ready for the day. Once again there was laundry and dishes (that's a given though in a house of five). I cleaned both bathrooms, mopped the kitchen floor, made a barbecue chicken pizza for lunch, made a great dinner, cleaned up the dishes, ran the dishwasher, and managed to play some video games and squeezed in some guitar. So you see it's been a very busy day, but lazy in the fact that I still got to "play" a little bit. Now if we could all just get healthy that would be great.

J-Tony   

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Ok so today is Thanksgiving, so Happy Thanksgiving.

So today we will be going to my parents for dinner. I always enjoy being with my family on the Holidays. Naturally, I guess most people do. We will do the traditional turkey dinner with all the fixings. We'll sit around eat, watch football, and maybe play some cards. Should be a good time.

Hope everyone has a Wonderful Thanksgiving and takes the time to reflect on what they have, and be thankful for it, rather than what they don't have. I know sometimes it's hard to find the positives, but we all have something to be thankful for.

J-Tony

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Eve

So today it finally got cold and rainy here, and now they are calling for some snow fall. If haven't mentioned it before, I love the snow. I love the cold winter months. I love all that goes with cold snowy days. A little crazy huh?

You see I think that in the winter you spend more time with family. As I've said, I'm a simple man with a simple life, and that's the way I like it. That's the way I was raised. In the winter you stay home and enjoy the family. You play games with your children, you watch movies, and football, and I think your a little more grateful for the things you have. I know that I am.

The summer time has the sun, and water parks, and fireworks, and I get all that, but as I get older I hate the heat and humidity, the bugs, and the sunburns. Maybe it's a sure sign of getting old, but I enjoy winter, and it only magnifies that love when it snows.

So we put our Christmas tree up tonight. I remember when I was a child, my mom would always give us an "early" Christmas present when we put the tree up. It was her little way of kicking off the holiday season. Now a days my brother and his family watch a special movie when they put the tree up. It's a little tradition that he started when his clowns were young and he still does it. I think it's important to have family traditions. That's the type of stuff that clowns remember all their lives.

So tonight is one of those nights that I really have nothing to say. I'm looking forward to the next few days. I'm looking forward to Christmas this year, more so then over the last few years, and these next couple of days really gets things started.

So as tomorrow is Thanksgiving I just want to say that I am truly thankful for my parents, who have always been great parents. You know it's not until we get older and have clowns of our own that we realize how hard the parenting thing can be. I'm also very thankful for all my immediate family as well as in-laws. You know a guy couldn't ask for better in-laws then what I have. You all in all I've been pretty blessed, and I am truly thankful. I know it's all very cliche, but whatever....Happy Thanksgiving.

J-Tony

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

It's That Time of Year

It's that time of year again. The time when you dig all the stuff out of the garage or closets, dust it off, clean it up and head outside. Around here it's a way of life for most. Yeah that's right, I'm talking about Deer Season.

Now I don't hunt, or fish, and quite frankly I'd rather jab an ice pick into my eye socket than to do either one, but where I live, like I said hunting is a way of life for most. At work they have rearranged schedules because so many people take time off during the start of the season.

Now here's the thing that doesn't set well with me. First it's not really "hunting"  it's more like ambushing. Maybe they should call it that and I would feel better about it. Maybe if I met someone from around here for the first time and they asked me if I was an Ambusher, instead of a hunter maybe I would feel differently about it. I mean think about it. Are they really "hunting" the animal? After all, they get a stand, put it up in a tree and wait for something to come by right? Then, when they see something, they stay just as quite as they can before BANG!! Got one.

Here's another thing.  I read a little article that talked about using things like Deer Decoys, Deer Urine, to mask your human smell, and Deer Food to help lure them to your stand all to help you "hunt". Seriously?

Ok so isn't that just like calling the pizza place and having them deliver it to my door? I mean I'll just sit here, tell you what I want, lure you with a tip, tell you how to get exactly to my house, and when you get right up to my door...BAM, Dinner's ready!

So again, is it really hunting? Wouldn't it make more sense, if we're going to call it hunting, that the hunter be on his feet, walking through the woods looking for said deer? Tracking his footprints and chasing him down on foot? I mean I guess I might understand it a little more if we all depended on the deer as part of our income or we used the hides and made coats and things out of 'em, but most hunters kill them for the meat, and lets not kid ourselves, they do it for the sport as well. For the thrill of the kill. Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with that. You do your thang, but I don't get it.  

Here's another thing I don't get about this deer hunting. They get up in the wee hours of the morning. Usually in the cold. They drag their stuff to "the perfect spot". They set-up camp just before dawn. In the tree by day break. Then they sit there and they wait. Sometimes they wait and wait and wait. Sometimes they don't see a single deer all day. They sit there for 12 hours or more just waiting for a deer to come by? Meanwhile I've been to the grocery store, the bank, picked up lunch for the family and am still home in time to watch the early football games. Now that's not the kicker. I've talked to guys who have told me that yeah they saw a couple of them out there, but were never able to get a shot on 'em, or the deer was to small? What? No shot? I've even known guys to go the entire season and not see a deer? Not one stinking deer? Are you kidding me? Heck I see at least one on the side of the road every week during this time of year. Now if it was me and I happened to be in this position (which I wouldn't be), and I saw one and I've been in this stand all day, and maybe this is the only one I've seen all season, you can bet your bottom dollar I'd be gettin' me a deer. I'd just keep shooting at that thing till I had no more bullets, then if still nothing, I'd throw my gun at it. I would chase that thing down and hog tie it like I was a professional bull rider for crying out loud.

 Well so anyway, I don't mean to offend anyone who might be a hunter out there. To each his own right. I mean I said before you have to do Your Thang. As for me, I'll stick to the pre-packaged stuff, it's easier to catch.

J-Tony

Monday, November 22, 2010

Who Cares About Sports

Ok so for those of you who like to talk about sports...here we go.

This weekend in the middle of cleaning up after sick kids and doing laundry, I managed to watch some football. Now anyone who knows me knows this is nothing new. I don't watch a lot of t.v other than sports, and while I am torn at times about the "business" of the games, I think watching them in my house is important and I'll explain.

When I mention "sports" I mean football, basketball, and baseball. I'm sure there are some Nascar fans out there that want to argue about racing being a sport, and maybe even a golfer or two, and that's fine, but we don't watch them. Here we watch "the big 3".

Now I do believe that sports on all levels can be a very good thing. They can teach us about winning and loosing, and what it means to be a good sport. They can teach us about being on a team and putting others first.

Let me explain the "being torn" part. I am like most people I think, when it comes to these athletes. I am sick and tired of seeing them on t.v or reading about them and the crimes they've committed. Now I get it, people mess up and do things they shouldn't, Lord knows we all have, maybe not to the degree that some of these guys do, but none-the-less we all mess up.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that we, as a society, put so much stock into our sports while are communities, schools and churches around us suffer. Don't get me wrong, I am just as guilty.

I could go on and on about all the things I think are bad about sports, the money spent, the time and energy "wasted" and the franchises getting rich because of them. But the bottom line is, I obviously don't think those things are bad enough to keep me from watching.

Ok so now to why I think it is important in my house to watch them.

This past weekend while the girls were down sick and with the DW being a rock star with a camera, the boy and I had some time to lay around and watch football together. Now mini-me is to the point where he is both annoying and cute while watching sports. Who's got the ball daddy? New England. So are they New?? No that's just their name, you know where they're from. Who's got the ball now daddy? Still New England. Is our team the snatchers? (He means the Steelers). No our team is the Colts. Who's got the ball now daddy? So you see what I mean.

The thing about it is, Daddy is a middle classed family man. I don't travel the world sampling unique dishes and drinking fine wine. I live a very simple life which means my clowns live a very simple life. Which means when the weekends roll around in the winter and there's nothing going on at the Yacht Club, we watch sports. This weekend he an I watched some games and he cheered when I cheered, (even if he didn't exactly get it) and I tried to answer all his questions the best I could so he could understand it (and let me tell you explaining instant replay to a four year old is not easy). But mostly we just hung out and enjoyed being father and son.

You see we spent some quality time together, time that I hope he remembers for a lifetime. Now I'm sure he won't remember this one particular weekend, but hopefully he will remember lots of weekends where he and his dad watched sports or chucked the ball around, and maybe one day he'll have a blog and tell stories of his dad and sports. I know I can remember watching certain games with my dad, and that's the type of stuff that makes memories. I'm sure there will come a time when he doesn't want to even be in the same room with me, so for now I'll take all the questions of who's got the ball now, and which team are the snatchers that he can come up. Even my girls know certain things about the games, and while they appear to not be as interested, it still is a time we can share together.

So I guess I'll keep root root rooting for the home team all the while hopefully making memories with my clowns and try not to focus on all the negatives in the sports world. 

J-Tony

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Twice As Nice

Ok so let me just say that some of you out there may read this and think I brought this on myself, (read open up and say ahh)  and to that I say touche.

Early this morning, about two o'clock to be exact, it happened. Again, I lay still pretending not to hear. Mom, I puked again. My natural instincts kick in...I quickly spring into action and shake the DW to wake her up. Then it hits me. Crap, it's the weekend, and she has an early morning session tomorrow. Looks like it's my turn.

So I get up with her, it's the first clown again. I don't understand it, she seemed fine yesterday? She played, she ate, no issues, no fever, no complaints. How could this be? I think maybe it's just a dream because of my blog post from the other day, then the smell hits me. She managed to get one entire arm, and she managed to walk from her bed to ours without wiping it off at all. Nice.

I get her cleaned up, and settled onto the couch. Her bed is a mess. She sleeps on the top bunk. Again..nice. I clean up as much as I can without disturbing clown #2. I finally settle down in the recliner. I jump at every sniffle, cough, and dog bark for the next 10 to 15 minutes, almost like an expecting father minutes away from his wife's water breaking. So far no after shocks. I relax and figure maybe it's passed and we can get a few hours sleep before the rest of them wake.

In what seems like five minutes later, I'm awakened again. It's mini-me. In a panic, I run him through the gauntlet of questions. Are you ok? Does your belly hurt? Did you throw-up? Do you need to potty? My barrage of questions has him stumbling through the living room like he's been hit with a Mike Tyson right cross. He has no clear answers. He appears to just be sleepwalking. I corral him back to his bed, and wish him a good night.

I snuggle back into my recliner again with the thoughts of getting some sleep before dawn breaks. Again, I am awakened what seems like five minutes later.  

Dad I'm puking. I wake up, standing over me is Clown #2. She too has the stench that can not be disguised. The poor thing, she looks scared, nearly in tears. I get her cleaned up as well and then go tackle their room. It's now pushing 4:30 in the morning.


Ok so I'm finally able to get both girls resting, get cleaned up myself, and lay back down on the recliner. A few hours later the wife gets up and surveys the damage. I get back up with her and start working on the laundry that follows a night like this. There are sheets and blankets to wash. Clothes, pillows and snuggies. Yes the wife's beloved snuggie had been hit.

The rest of my day has been nothing but cleaning, and laundry, and baths, and spraying Lysol, accompanied by a few more hurls.

So now it looks like it's down to just the boy as far as this bug is concerned. I guess for me it's a good thing I have to work tomorrow.

J-Tony

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Love Is.....

As Thanksgiving draws closer and I see people posting things such as, "today I am thankful for deer season, and McDonalds smoothies", and crap like that. I am truly thankful for Love. Often times we associate love with couples, or sex, or even just loving our kids, but love is so much more. I am thankful for love. Thankful that the people who know me and Love me understand this. Sometimes I am not easy to love or show love. I hope and pray that every day I can show what Love is to somebody.

Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

J-Tony

Friday, November 19, 2010

Open Up and Say Ahh

So I was awakened this morning about 2 am with, "Mom I threw-up in my room". I lay there....very still as if playing dead in front of a grizzly bear.  Again I hear "Mom..I threw-up in my room". This time I have to acknowledge it, so I do what every husband and father who has to get up in a few hours to go to work would do in that situation........I reach over and shake the DW..."Babe she puked in her room".

Now before you judge, understand that I did have to get up in a few hours to go to work while the DW works from home. So in my mind it seems like the logical choice.

So the DW gets up with the oldest clown and I get back to sleep, however a few hours later as I'm getting ready for work I have this feeling come over me. I start to sweat.....My stomach turns...I feel queasy....Ok I'll stop right there because I'm sure you don't want to know all the details of what happened next.

So anyway, all day today I've felt horrible. I've been dizzy and my stomach as been upside down. Now if you know me at all you know that I like to eat. I'm not a large man be any means, but I don't miss to many meals. Well today I didn't even eat lunch, so you know something was up.

Well so it seems it has passed the oldest clown now. She's been able to keep food down since about lunch, and while I'm still queasy I haven't actually lost my cookies.

Now we're just sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop with the rest of the group. So here's hoping I'm not sitting here the next few nights discussing what we had for dinner and what it looked like when it came back up. My guess is the DW won't be the only one on clean up duty.

J-Tony

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Testing 1,2,3 and A Little About Me

Ok so tonight I've been trying to figure out how to add photos to the blog from my phone. My thought was that when I was out and about if the mood struck me I could take a picture and add it. I thought it would be a nice touch. Well it didn't exactly work like I wanted it to, but as we say here in my neck of the wood, there's more than one way to skin a squirrel (said in my best hillbilly voice). Actually I don't think I've ever said that.
I did figure out how to add pictures in general though. Here is one of my favs.  Hopefully you all know what this is.

So the more I think we're all basically the same on this great big world, the more I think maybe we're not.

Yesterday I mentioned how awesome my day was. I woke up and really felt good, refreshed, vibrant. Then today things were just "normal".

Today I was tired, my body hurt from playing ball or sleeping on a bad mattress, or from whatever (some might say old age), so I just drudged through the day, doing my work, but noting to spectacular. Nothing really happened. Nothing brought me down or made me upset or really picked me up, it was just a normal day. So as I walked through the day and did my thing, I wondered if there were co-workers who were having that "great" day? Someone who feels like the sun is shining down on only them? Or are we all just drudging through the day? Did someone else have a great day yesterday, and now they are "back to normal" like myself? Are we all that much alike or am I crazy?

So tonight since I really have nothing of interest to talk about I thought I'd tell ya a little bit about me..

So here goes. I do not like Pitch-in dinners unless it is my family only. No offense I just don't want to eat other people's cooking. I do not like to eat chicken on the bone. Boneless chicken is cool, but don't like it on the bone unless I or the DW fried it. Otherwise forget it. I do not eat rice. 'nuff said. I do not like to use the same fork for both dinner and desert, even if just at home. I'm a sports nut. Played and watched the big 3 all my life. Named all 3 of my clowns after family members (mine and the DW's). I've had 13 cars and one motorcycle in my lifetime and have been in 3 major wrecks. I've lived in 8 different houses, but only one state. I love the cold winter months. The snow, the cold, the rain. I think winter makes you appreciate the little things in life more,
and if it doesn't then it should.

I have a horrible fear of spiders. So much so, that I have nightmares about them. I've been known to wake up in a cold sweat and in a panic because of a spider dream. I can not watch t.v about them, I can not see them outside or around the house and it usually freaks me out just to think about them. My clowns have caught on to this now and think it's funny to tease me about it, but to me it's a fear just like being afraid of heights or public speaking. 

Over the years I have taught myself how to play the guitar, juggle (I know corny but it's a conversation piece), and am working on learning Spanish (although that one is tough). I've been a sports correspondent for two different news papers, and have a passion for theater. Well ok not sure about the passion thing, but I do want to act in a play. I have had 3 dogs 4 cats, countless fish and a snake as pets.

I never served in the armed forces but there is a piece of me that wishes I had. I pride myself on being a good husband and father. Every night I tuck my clowns in bed, we say our prayers, and I tell them tomorrow make good decisions, be smart, be a leader, and do the right thing, in hopes that one day they will reach the cross roads of life and those words with echo in their minds.


Well that's about all I got for tonight. I mostly just wanted to figure out how to post some pictures on here, and now that I have, oh boy watch out.....

J-Tony

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

In Your Eyes

Have you ever felt great? I mean have you ever woke up and just felt great? I'm not talking about a physical feeling (because at this point in my life those are few and far between anyway), no I'm talking about a spring in your step, Mr Bluebird on your shoulder type of great feeling when you wake up? Today I had that feeling.

Now I'm not sure exactly why I had this feeling. Maybe it was the coffee, or maybe it was because of the night before, or maybe today was just the day that the good Lord decided was going to be "my" day. Regardless, I'll take it. I mean heck who couldn't use a good day right?

I guess maybe I should clarify when I say that maybe my good day today was because of my night before. See on Tuesday nights I play basketball in a league and last night right before the halftime buzzer I hit a half court shot. It was, as the kids say, Epic. Well ok maybe not epic, but it was pretty cool. First time in my life that I have had that type of opportunity, and I made it. Now I know that a good percent of making a shot like that is luck, but still it was fun to do. We ended up loosing, but I made the shot of the year so far, and as you know it's all about me.

So anyway, in the course of my great day today I started thinking, isn't it funny how we don't always see ourselves the way others see us? I mean most of us don't see ourselves as self centered, egotistical, arrogant or whatever the case may be (not saying that I am of course, or at least I don't think I am). 

Someone mentioned to me today that I struck them as someone who wasn't afraid to venture out or take a leap of faith (something to that affect). This really took me back considering I see myself as being very conservative, someone who plays it real close to the vest, if you know what I mean. I think I'm more like the golfer who "lays-up" rather then tries to hit it over the water. Ok so maybe some of you don't understand the golf reference, sorry. I guess in other words, I'm a big chicken. Or at least I see myself as a big chicken. Afraid to make big changes in my life or "take a chance" so to speak. I think maybe the reason that I don't take that leap or make that change is the fear of failure. Maybe we all have that fear to some degree some just hide it better then others.
Shoot when I go out to eat (regardless of the establishment) I get the same thing every time. No deviating. In fact I think the DW can order for me now. Usually there is no need to even look at a menu, or the board, again depending on the establishment. I know we're only talking food here, but that's sort of the way I roll. I thought it was interesting that someone else doesn't exactly see me that way. Again, I guess we never really see ourselves the way others do.

Ok so moving on. I need  to know when is it time for a man to get rid of some clothes? Here's the thing. I've got some shirts, and what my DW refers to as "old man jeans" that I just can't seem to part with. There is one shirt in particular, it's an Old Navy long sleeve sweater/tee sort of thing, that my DW hates. Her complaint is not that it's ratty or torn, but rather because it looks old, like "late '90's". I of course, having no sense of fashion think it looks fine? Every time I put the thing on she looks at me like I should be on that web site People Of Wal-Mart. Again, to me it looks fine, it's not ripped, has no stains and still fits (even after all these years).

So the real question is, when does a middle aged man of 3 clowns stop trying to be fashionable? I mean I don't usually wear the old man jeans, but they might do in a pinch, right and so what if I look like I just stepped out of the 90's? Who am I trying to impress? I certainly don't want to be known around town as the old guy who thinks he's still 20 right? Well, I guess if nothing else maybe I'll live long enough that my clothes will come back in style, here's hoping...I really like that shirt.


J-Tony

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

More on Stories

Ok so maybe I need to clarify last night's post just a little. I'm talking to this guy at work today, and he's telling me "his story" of how when he was in high school he played basketball, and how he had some "smaller" scholarships to play but didn't (his words)...blah..blah...blah...it dawned on me that my post last night was two things.

First it was spot on. I am so right. Everybody has a story. And I don't mean funny stories of how somebody put a lamp shade on their head at a party kind of stories. I mean. Everybody has those "I could'a been a contender" type stories. Which is my second point. Everybody could'a, would'a, or should'a, if only it hadn't been for.... I mean everybody always wants to blame somebody or something else. 

The thing is, maybe that's just the way we all are? Maybe we're all people who if we would have gotten a lucky break here or there, things would be different. Maybe all our lives would be changed if it wasn't for that one thing, or that one time?

You see though, as I'm listening to the guy who "could'a been" Indiana's Mr. Basketball back in the day, ramble on about his past, I start thinking about my own story. Yes that's right, it's all about me.

So I'm thinking about my story, and quite honestly I don't have a story really. Now I have funny stories of how I put a lamp shade on my head at a party one time, but I'd rather not tell that one. In fact, I'd rather not think about or "relive" any of my stories. I guess that's because I realize that they are past. It's over. I've moved on. I'm a much better person now then when those stories took place, and I'd much rather focus on the future and what lies ahead then to think about yesterday. So here's to tomorrow, not yesterday.

J-Tony

Monday, November 15, 2010

What's Your Story

So today I realize that everybody has a "story". I guess I've always known this, but today it struck a nerve with me and was something that made me think.

You see today is Monday, and that means on Monday morning (and most all day long) it's time to analyze your weekends fantasy football did or did not's. See my league is made up of 12 guys, 11 of whom I work with. So after every weekend we "meet at the water cooler" and discuss what we should have done, or what somebody else should have done, or didn't do. Don't get me wrong, I love playing, but today it just struck me wrong or something. I mean I was to the point where I would see someone from my league around the office and avoid eye contact just so I wouldn't have to talk about it. Not because I lost and couldn't bare it (I actually won and am in the points lead, not that you care), but because everybody has a story.

People just can not accept the facts. Think about it. Have you have ever talked to somebody at the license branch who has had their license revoked? Just talk to them for a minute. Listen to them. There is always some "poor me" story of how the cops did them wrong. Or how the lady behind the counter didn't tell them they had to have the correct paperwork before hand. If you've ever had to be in defensive driving or some court mandated class you know exactly what I'm talking about. Everybody has a story, and most of the time it's not their fault. Somebody else screwed them over or didn't do something which in turn caused them to get in trouble.Today it just made me think. I mean as I'm listening to the same 'ol "I should have done this" story I just kept thinking, yeah but you didn't? Why are we talking about this..again. Didn't we discuss this last week?

I don't know I just got to thinking about this today, and about how everybody has a story. As a society I think we are always so quick to blame someone else for our actions. It's always easier to say, if it wasn't for this or that I wouldn't have done this or had to do that.

Well so anyway, What's your story??

J-Tony

Sunday, November 14, 2010

It's not fair

So I've come to realize that there are a few things in life that are just not fair.

Take being a parent for example. Being a parent is just not fair. I mean we do it, or at least most of us do, because we love it, and we chose it, but honestly it is the hardest job in the world.You really are darned if you do, and darned if you don't, and most of the time the choices we have to make are just not fair.

So we all went to church today. Again, back to our "old" church. Now mini-me has not been to this church since he was just a little baby, so he really doesn't know anybody or anything about this place. He is so much like his pops it isn't funny. He's a little shy and timid in new surroundings. He usually is ok if or when his sisters are doing these things with him, but without them he's "clingy". Naturally he feels some sort of comfort when they are around. Plus they are pretty good big sisters and take good care of him. Well the DW explains to him that he will have to go to his class while we are in church. He's not real excited about this. So she mentions that maybe she can get him in the class with this sister. For this he is "on board". He clearly tells the DW that we will go as long as he can be in class with his sister, but he is not going to class alone. (Lovely how the 4 year old calls the shots).

So anyhow, we get to church and wouldn't you know it he has to go to the class by himself, and the girls go to a different class. In the beginning he is shy and has his head down, and won't speak to anybody, and of course the DW is heart broken. Now me, I think it's good for him to be by himself a little bit. He doesn't get much social time without his sisters. After all it's good for all of us to get out of our comfort zone every now and then, but as a parent you want your child to be happy, and feel secure. So to see him upset made me a little upset as well.

So anyway throughout the service both the DW and I were worried about the little guy. Now here's where I think it's just not fair for us parents. Of course I start thinking what if he's miserable? What if this scars him for life? What if he grows up and forever remembers the time when he was four and his parents "left" him all alone in some strange room with strange people, and he was "forced" to interact with other little boys and girls? What if one day he's relaying the events of this horrible day while laying on a couch being charged 120 bucks an hour? What if it's worse than that? What if one day he's giving an interview to Bill O'Riley while behind bars and all he can come up with for "why" is because of the events of today. On the other hand, what if we don't leave him alone and he ends up some creeper who's issues are related to being "clingy" as a child? Again, darned if you do, darned if you don't.

After the service is over the DW and I both head back to the classrooms to pick up the clowns. As she looks in on mini-me just positive she's going to see him sitting by himself upset maybe even crying, she sees him smiling and dancing around the room. What's this? He's happy? We made the right choice? Woo hoo. Yeah for us.

When I finally get a chance to ask him how his class and lesson was he is super excited to show me a picture he colored specifically for the DW and I. Now don't get me wrong. I believe that leaving him in children's church is the right decision. Like I said, he doesn't get much social time by himself, so I think it's good for him,  but these are the things that drive us parents crazy, and quite frankly are just not fair.

J-Tony

Friday, November 12, 2010

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles minus the Planes and Trains

If you've ever seen the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles then you can sort of understand what it's like to travel with a stranger. One of my all time favorite movies by the way.

Ok so let me tell you a little bit about my trip. I realized that you kind of get to know a person when you spend 12 hours in a car with them. Look I'm sure this guy that went with me is a nice guy and all, but let me just give you some insight as to how my trip went.

First let me just say, I am not a big fan of listening to people eat. I realize we're in a car, and you get hungry and want to snack and that's ok. I mean after all it's not my car so I don't care if you drop something in between the seats, but I'd rather not have to listen to you scarf down that sticky bun first thing in the morning. Here's another thing. I can not stand for anyone to lick their fingers after they eat. I mean really? Really? You have to lick your fingers to get the last bit of goo off of them? Is that not the grosses thing ever? Use a napkin for crying out loud. Heck use your shirt for all I care I just don't want to see or hear you licking your fingers to get that last bit of honey bun.  

Ok so we've made it past the initial awkward beginning. We've made small talk about family, clowns and careers. We're now pushing toward mid-morning and finally lunch time. Let's just grab something quick so we can speed along and get to our destination. Do you have a preference? "Nothing fast-food". What? Nothing fast-food? Are you kidding me? That's the only "food" I know on the road. Grab a quick burger and let's move on, after all this is a business trip, you're not vacationing with the fam. here?

Ok ok so I cave, we have lunch. We sit down, we get waited on, we order, we get our food we eat. Then, all of a sudden he gets a napkin and starts blowing his nose right in the middle of lunch. Are you kidding me, hellllooooo trying to eat over here! Is it just me or is that not rude and gross? I mean it's one thing to feel a twitch or to have a hanger you gotta get, but to use a couple napkins to clean the pipes right there at the table is ridiculous.

So finally our work day is complete. We casually ask the locals for recommendations on places to eat for dinner near the hotel. One of them mentions that there really is not much around the area but if we travel up the road another 40 minutes there are all kinds of places. There is  big shopping center and lots of restaurants up there.  "Great" he says, "I need to look for a birthday gift for my daughter anyway". Now at this point I wanted to stick a sharp object in my eye. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs NOOOOOO. I mean really all I wanted to do was go find some dinner, and go back to the hotel, take my shoes off and relax watching t.v. until time for bed. Surely he wasn't serious. He wants to go shopping? No way dude.

Four stores later we finally got some dinner.

Now my DW asked me why didn't I just give him the keys and let him go by himself? Well I guess I didn't want to be a jerk or anything. So I sort of went with the "grin and bare it" attitude. Sometimes I guess it's just easier that way. And besides who knows, maybe he's blogging right now about the guy he went on a trip with.


J-Tony


 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Road Traveled

So today I'm traveling with someone from work. I will be in a car for about 6 hours. We will spend the night, then get up the next morning and drive back. You know you don't know somebody until you spend 6 hours in a car with 'em.

See I have a job that is somewhat bittersweet. My job is stressful sometimes (to me), and it drives me crazy most of the time. I am constantly put in a position where "failure" is common place. I have to make decision and most of the time those decision do not make most people happy. This is the part of the job that I do not like. I am constantly fighting fires.

However on the other side, I get to travel some. I've been to places and seen things that I would not otherwise go or see. I've eating some great meals and had some good times along the way. I've met some great people and heard some funny stories. I've stayed in great hotels and have driven nice cars. So there is a part of me that when I get to travel really enjoys it, and that part makes it almost worth while.

Then again, I have to spend time away from my family. I miss my clowns everyday events. Typically when I'm gone it's just the same 'ol same 'ol at the house, but still, I'm not there and I miss them. I miss that feeling when I come home and they are all excited to see me and tell me about their day. I miss not having that evening time with the DW. I miss not sleeping next to her in my own bed. I miss my pillow.

On the other hand. I don't have to deal with the everyday events of the evening. Listening to clowns fight, or whine. Clowns arguing over toys or video games. I don't have to do laundry or dishes or pick up after anyone. I can just go back to my hotel after a nice dinner out (somewhere that does not have toys) and relax. Put my feet up, and watch t.v.

And then there are the stresses and fatigue of traveling cross country, or driving long distances. Sleeping on planes or in cars. Not sleeping well in a strange town, in a strange hotel, in a strange bed. The anxieties of being far away from my family if something should ever happen. 


So like I said, it is bittersweet.

J-Tony

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Legacy

Ok so I know last nights post was pretty lame, sorry about that. Sometimes we just don't have it in us to give 100%. I know maybe that sounds bad, I mean shouldn't we give 100% everytime? If you're going to go through the trouble of doing something shouldn't you give it all you have? Maybe I'll think about those words from now on before I post.

Ok so last night I mentioned that I did have a few hot topics I wanted to discuss, so I'll get into at least one of those today.

The other day in discussions with a couple of friends the word legacy came up. Someone had mentioned the "Legacy" that our friend left behind in his passing last week. It made me think about that word and what it means.
What is it to leave a legacy? I think sometimes when we hear this word we think of rich or famous people, and we associate it with money or power. But does it have to just be famous people, and does it have to be money. Does it have to be something tangible?  What type of legacy can we common people leave, and is that how my legacy will be defined, by wheather or not I left money or gifts? 

The word alone, according to Webster's Dictionary is "a gift by will especially of money or other personal property", or "something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor from the past". Almost makes you think it has to be something that someone can hold or touch huh?

However in speaking with my friends regarding our friends passing, I don't believe this is the case. I'll be honest here, I was not extreamly close to our friend like some others in the discussion. But I can see his legacy is that of a man who built relationships with many different people. He was a firefighter, a father, a husband, a Christian, a co-worker, a friend and a son. I'm sure he had more "titles", but you get the point. He was not of great wealth or fame. But yet he was a man who seemed to generally care about people. At his wake I ran into a guy that I work with. We exchanged pleasentries and moved on. The next day at work I asked him how he was connected to our friend. He said he didn't know him at all, but his daughter knew the family and talked about him and she enjoyed the families company. You see he left a different kind of legacy. His legacy will be remembered as a common man who took the time for others.

In our discussion my friends and I talked about slowing down, and taking time. Taking time in life. So often we get caught up in our everyday lives that we forget how to live. We forget to enjoy the little things, or we forget people. We don't focus on one person or thing at a time. We are a society of multi-taskers. I know, I'm sure we all wish we had more time, but the truth of the matter is we all have the same amount of time, it's just what you do with that time that matters.
Once upon a time Mr. Rogers, yes The Mr. Rogers was conducting an interview and the reporter asked him "who was the most important person in the world to him". Mr Rogers responded by simply saying "right now you are, because I'm talking to you". I heard this and it made me think.

So today and everyday as time ticks away and we get busy with every day life, try to slow down, give 100 percent and make whoever you are talking to the most important person in the world, even for just a minute. You just might find yourself building a legacy.

J-Tony

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Nothing

Ok so tonight I had some great things I wanted to discuss. I'd been thinking all day long about a few "hot" button topics but I think I'll table them for another time. Partly because I can, and mostly because I'm tired.

You see I started playing basketball tonight in a church league. We won in overtime. It was a pretty good game although I didn't play particularly well. Nobody on the team is real great, but we've got some decent guys. Besides it was nice to get out and play and fellowship. I'll tell you what though. Anybody who doesn't think that Church leagues (for any sport) is competitive are nuts. Now don't get me wrong, there are a few teams that don't take it to seriously, but for the most part that team wants to win just as bad as you do, and they're willing to lay it all on the line to do so. I've played both softball and basketball in church leagues and it's fierce.

Sorry, but that's all I've got tonight.

J-Tony





 

Monday, November 8, 2010

Doing Chores

Now when I was a child us kids had chores around the house that we had to do. Although I don't really remember if we had anything specific that was considered our chore, but we did have chores. We had to take out the trash, or do the dishes, fold the laundry you know things like that. And so I have slowly begun to get my clowns acclimated to chores. And just like every clown before them they hate 'em.

Of course I don't make them do anything to outrageous like pan for gold or anything, but I do make them help out a little. You know just the same things I had to do when I was young. Dishes, trash, animals.

I have to admit though I am sort of torn about making them do these things and you may think I'm crazy, but he's why.
I think that right now they are little, and while I believe it is a good "habit' to get into of doing dishes and taking out the trash and having some responsibility when you are young, I also think they will have their entire life to do "chores". I can remember as a young child doing the dishes or feeding the dog when my parents made me, but I'm not so sure it made me any more responsible? I mean what did it really teach me? Great I can put food in a dog's bowl when it's empty? Am I a better person for that? Am I somehow a better man for knowing that you must rinse the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher? (maybe the DW thinks so) But I mean really? Is it worth it?
Now don't get me wrong, I believe they should pick up their toys or when they get things out they should put them back, but I guess I feel sort of bad making them do the everyday household "chores". Crazy huh?
I can remember as a child telling my mom how when I had kids I would NEVER make them do chores. Of course I was like 9 at the time so what did I know. I'm sure that was just because I thought it was unfair. But you see that's somewhat my point. I don't look back on those days now and think, boy I'm glad my mom and dad made me do the dishes, that was some great parental guidance there. I can also remember having to do the dishes with my siblings and it seemed like it always led to more fights then clean dishes.

So again, I'm somewhat torn about making them do chores. I'm not sure how much it help my clowns on the road of life. On the flip side, it sure does help the DW and I.

J-Tony

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Nick Names and Classic Cars

So today has been a pretty decent day. Not to much different then every other Sunday. We did go back to our old church today, but other than that, it has been pretty much business as usual around here. The DW had some work to do, the clowns watched t.v and played around the house, and I watched football and did some laundry.

So ok I guess tonight is one of those days where I really have noting interesting or "clever" to write about so I think I'll explain a little bit about the J-Tony and my love for Mustangs.

You see we all have a relative or maybe even a sibling, or family friend that we really look up to growing up, and I was no different. When I was little I had this cousin who I really looked up to. He's maybe nine or 10 years older then me, and maybe that's why I looked up to him, because he could do grown-up things but was still considered one of the "kids". I don't really know the reason that I looked up to him, he just always seemed cool in my childhood eyes. Maybe it was because of a present he bought me on my birthday that I can still to this day remember.

See we used to have pretty big birthday parties when I was little. My birthday was in the summer so I would get to take a friend or two and do whatever I wanted. We would go play putt-putt or go to the public swimming pool, the arcade, or just hang out for the day. My mom would make a special birthday dinner that evening and after wards we would have the party. Back then it seemed like the entire family would come over for the usually ice cream and cake, and of course presents. Now I can't remember exactly which birthday it was, but on one of these birthdays my cousin brought me a gift. It wasn't wrapped in typical birthday paper or anything. It was in a brown paper bag. He handed me a card along with the bag. I opened the card first and began reading. It read something like this....blah,blah,blah...Happy Birthday J-Tony. I put the card down and looked in the bag and there was a hot wheels car. Now I suppose it would make for a good story if I knew exactly which type of hot wheels it was, but I really have no idea. But it was a hot wheels car, and I loved hot wheels. I had a million of them, but no two alike. So to me this was a great gift. I thanked him of course and went on about my party.

It wasn't until later that I put two and two together about the J-Tony, (my names) but I thought that was pretty cool. It was my first real nick name. Not something stupid that my older siblings had made up just to make me cry, but this one was real and I loved it. Now as for the Mustangs. Again  it would have made for a neat story if I'd said that the hot wheels car that I pulled out of the bag on that day was a classic Ford Mustang replica, but again, I really don't remember what type it was. The truth about the Mustang is that that's the type of car I most remember him driving. He had a few Mustang's in his youth, and I remember thinking that's a "cool" car. I guess I'm just glad it wasn't a Ford Pinto or Escort or something like that that he drove because I might be sitting here to this day with a secret love for the Pinto, how embarrassing?  So luckily for me it was one of the great American muscle cars. To this day, I still have a love for the classic Ford Mustang and it has been my dream for as long as I can remember to own a classic 1965/1966. Oh sure I've had a few Mustang beaters in my time, none of which were '65's or 66's.

So that's the story of one of my nick names (there is another, but not nearly as cool IMO)  and my love for the Classic American Muscle car, the Ford Mustang. Now I've never told my cousin about the impact or influence he had on me while we were growing up, but I'm glad he did. It's helped shape who I am, and besides I think it's cool to have a nick name, and who doesn't love classic cars? 

J-Tony

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Do your Thang

Ok so lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about religion and my personal walk with God. I consider myself a born again Christian. I didn't grow up in a church, and quite frankly I didn't know or think much about God. I guess I thought maybe there was a God or something, but he didn't get much press around my house growing up. So anyway after my oats were sowed, so to speak, I started searching for God. I started going to church and realized that there is a God, and one day I accepted Him into my life and confessed to follow Christ. But you see over the last couple maybe 3 years my walk with God has been more of a, you go on ahead and I'll catch up with you sort of relationship. I've been one of those persons who believes in God, and believes that Christ is my saviour, however I'm not perfect and so maybe it's just easier to let God just go and do his thang, and I'll catch you later. Maybe it's that old saying "I'd rather laugh with the sinners and cry with the saints,  'cuz the sinners are much more fun". Ok maybe that's not a "saying", but I know I heard it in a Billy Joel song.

So anyway, I guess I have this feeling of, I have to be perfect to worship, or go to church or be a Christian. And you know for awhile I thought I was. I thought I was being obedient, and doing what God wanted me to do or being what he wanted me to be. But then I would backslide and I naturally would feel guilty. Then maybe I felt like I'm just going through the motions on Sunday, and Monday through Saturday was all about me. Or maybe the guilt was just to much. Or maybe I enjoyed not having a higher power to be accountable to? Maybe I cared to much about what other people thought? I don't know but for whatever "real" reason I stopped going to church on a regular basis. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm out there robbing, and stealing, and cheatin'. But I'm not perfect, and it's that feeling that has led me to this point.

Ok so I told you that I've been thinking a lot about God and religion. Blame it on a mid-life crisis, blame it on seeing people around me losing loved ones, or heck, blame it on the monkey butt, (see past post if you don't get the reference) but whatever it is I think I've come to realize that just like in the move City Slickers the key to life is one thing. And you have to find your One Thing, because after all today is the first day of the rest of your life. None of us are perfect, so stop trying to be. Stop over thinking God, Religion, and Life, and find your one thing. Stop worrying about what other people might say or think,  and be happy. Do your thang.

J-Tony

Friday, November 5, 2010

Blogging and Being Rude

Ok so I'm not so sure I know what I'm doing with this whole blog thing. I mean I don't know if there is a certain "rule of thumb" I'm supposed to be following, or if I'm just supposed to "write" down all the crap that runs through my head? Which seems a little scary. Do I have anything interesting to say today? Something that somebody might in the least, be interested in? Should I make something up? Should I tell a story? Do I even have any good stories? I'm sure I have some good stories, but not sure I want to post that all over the internet. That sounds more like a Springer episode then a blog.  
 
See the problem is that I have my best thoughts or ideas when I'm sitting is some stupid meeting discussing widgets, and some knucklehead starts talking about how to make widgets and who's doing what, then some other knucklehead says "that's not my job", or "it's not our department", and we get into the same argument that we had last week over who's going to do what, and when. That's usually when I have my best ideas, or my best thoughts anyway. And the trouble is, I don't always have the luxury of blogging right then. Now I guess I could go back to my desk and whip something up, but I think they might frown on that sort of activity in the office while on company time. Whatever. 

Ok so I know I'm just rambling again tonight. But you see that's the point. Once my day slows down and the clowns are tucked in bed, and the wife is working, I sit down and start my blog. But some days I have nothing clever to say? And not that I have to be clever all the time, but deep down I want people to read my blog, (and clever doesn't hurt). So being new to the blogging scene I'm not sure what to do? Do I talk about my day? Do I write a story? Do I quote some great leader of years past? I mean I want people to be inspired or amused or just enjoy it, but truth be told, I just don't think I'm all that interesting? I know that may come as a shock to know, but I'm really beginning to think that. 

Ok so shifting gears I do have something that I need clarification on. I was thinking about this on my way to a meeting today. How many times do you have to say hi, mornin' or give the head nod "hello" to the same person in one day? I mean I pass the same people in the office all day long and every time we pass it seems like we have to say something or smile that fake, I just saw you five minutes ago smile, or head nod. You know the nod where you tip your head up ever so slightly in essence to say "s'up" without having to actually say "s'up"? Does this ritual have to take place? Am I required to acknowledge this person, again? Can't I just walk past? Can't you just walk past? Is it rude? Will you think I'm being rude if we don't acknowledge each other for the fifth time this morning? I don't know? 
You see this is the type of boring stuff that a middle aged married man of 3 clowns thinks about daily. This is, a day in the life.

J-Tony

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A long week

What a week.
Very emotional week and it's not even over. Let's see Monday we found out about a friends passing. Tuesday was election day, Wednesday was our Anniversary, and today was our friends wake. Like I said been a emotional busy week.

It was nice to see so many people tonight paying their respects at the wake.
I didn't know what to say when we went up to the casket to meet his wife. She looks thin and tired. We speak briefly. I'm sure I sounded like an idiot. (Why is it that when you're trying not to say the wrong thing is usually when you say the wrong thing)?
She smiles and nods, and thanks us for coming.  I'm sure the same smile and nod she'd been doing for the last couple of hours. I mean what else can you do at that moment, when you've just lost your 39 year old husband and father of your 4 children?

I couldn't help but get a little teary eyed when I came to his oldest son (maybe just out of high school). In a flash I thought about this young man and how he was now going to be the "man of the house". I felt so sorry for him. Heck I feel sorry for them all, but I feel a stronger understanding towards him being both a son and a father. I thought about what he must be going through, what he must be feeling.
Again, I have nothing encouraging or worthy to say as I approach him.
I see his eyes. The eyes of a scared, angry, sad young man.
I hug him. I can tell at first he just wants to shake. But I hug him. I fight back my tears. I tell him to be strong and hang in there. He smiles and nods. All the while I'm sure fighting back the rage and hurt that is inside him.

Afterwords I had a long quite drive over to my in-laws to pick up a couple of clowns. On the way over my mind wandered. And I thought, what a week.

J-Tony

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Anniversary

So being your typical middle aged married man with clowns, I have a horrible memory. I mean, I forget names of people I work with. I forget birthdays and my own phone number. I forget street names, computer passwords and if I closed the garage door. There are countless things that I forget in a day, week or month. Obviously it's not that I mean to forget these things. Maybe it's because I have so much knowledge crammed inside my brain that after a short period it has to empty to fit more stuff in. Sort of like a FIFO system (First In First Out). Or maybe it's because life is so hectic and I have a touch of ADD. Maybe a little of the latter is probably more accurate.

Anyway there are a few things I will never forget, and 9 years ago today is one of those days. You see that is the day that my DW and I were married. I can remember just about ever detail of that day. I remember getting dressed thinking "wow, I'm about to get married". I can remember seeing her in the parking lot of the church and how beautiful she was (yes we saw each other right before the wedding). I can remember seeing her come down the isle and getting emotional saying my vows. I can remember just about everything from that 24 hour period of November 3rd, 2001.

You see every marriage starts out the same. With a commitment to love, honor, and respect, regardless of the ceremony, building or flowers. Some work and some don't. I know that we've had our differences, and it hasn't always been easy. But we've always had that Love, Honor, and Respect. We didn't have a big ceremony, and we had an even smaller reception. And I'm sure there were people who doubted we last a year, since we met on a blind date and had only known each other 10 months tops. But here we are 3 clowns and 9 years later, still going strong.

So as I get older and older and I forget more and more stuff, I'm glad that the events of that day are still so fresh in my mind. So I'll take forgetting to put the garage door down, or what my phone number is, because I'm sure she'll remind me anyway......I love you babe.

J-Tony

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Election Day

So I'm really beat tonight. It's been a long day. First I stayed up to late watching the Monday Night Football game last night. Then I had to take a little road trip today so that wore me out. I was in the car for a little more then four hours today. Why is it that driving like that wears you out? So anyway, I really don't feel very much like blogging tonight and think I will turn in early.

So after weeks of my mail box being filled with pamphlets and propaganda from the local sheriff to the town treasurer, Election Day is finally here, and I did my part, I voted.

The wife and I both voted today. It felt good. You know like we were doing the right thing, almost, dare I say....Grown up? On our way to our polling place I thought about all the pamphlets we got in the mail over the last few weeks.This one talking about this one, and don't vote for her, vote for me. Or this one is this, or that one is that. And most of the time they never really talk about the issues, or what they will do to fix the issues, but rather why the other person stinks. So like I said it made me think about all the mail and all the time and money that goes into creating, printing, and mailing these things. Most of the time I just throw them out, but tonight my DW  just happened to have a few of these "post cards" in the van and was looking at them on our way, and I couldn't help but laugh at her. She would read one, set it down, then read the other. I thought here we were just minutes from casting our votes and she was reading these things one last time. But I guess that's really what they are counting on, that you will be undecided and that a mailer will help. Advertising is a powerful tool. They want you to remember their add. Or remember the sign in the yard with their name on it or in this case the mailer. Now I don't know if it made any difference to her or not, but she was doing exactly what they wanted.

Well so anyway, kudos to my DW. At least she took the time to read them.

J-Tony

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sweet and Sour

Ok so I don't have much to say tonight really. Plus I need to make it fast since the Colts are playing on Monday Night Football tonight and it will start soon.See I'm a Colts fan so I try not to miss to many games. I've seen a lot of games from this team. I've seen them when they were 1-15 and one of the worst teams in the league. I remember when they first came to my home state back in like 1984. They weren't very good, but we didn't have a football team before that so who else were we going to root for. I've pretty much grown up with this team, and it's been pretty nice seeing them have the success they have over the last 10 plus years. So I'm pretty excited to watch them tonight.  Ok so that's the Sweet part of my post.

Now for the Sour part. I found out this evening that a gentlemen that we went to church with a few years back passed away tonight. I don't know the details but from what I do know it was sudden. He was about my age and has some young children so it makes me sad. It's one of those things that make you think. I know death is not something that we think much about, or at least I don't really. We drudge along complaining about our jobs or the car is making a funny noise or the kids are driving us crazy, or whatever it is, and we don't really think about death or dying. And I guess that's a good thing for the most part. Only when someone we know passes do we stop and think about it. And tonight this tragedy has made me stop and think a little bit. I know I've said it before that you really never know, but....you really never know. 

J-Tony