Sunday, November 14, 2010

It's not fair

So I've come to realize that there are a few things in life that are just not fair.

Take being a parent for example. Being a parent is just not fair. I mean we do it, or at least most of us do, because we love it, and we chose it, but honestly it is the hardest job in the world.You really are darned if you do, and darned if you don't, and most of the time the choices we have to make are just not fair.

So we all went to church today. Again, back to our "old" church. Now mini-me has not been to this church since he was just a little baby, so he really doesn't know anybody or anything about this place. He is so much like his pops it isn't funny. He's a little shy and timid in new surroundings. He usually is ok if or when his sisters are doing these things with him, but without them he's "clingy". Naturally he feels some sort of comfort when they are around. Plus they are pretty good big sisters and take good care of him. Well the DW explains to him that he will have to go to his class while we are in church. He's not real excited about this. So she mentions that maybe she can get him in the class with this sister. For this he is "on board". He clearly tells the DW that we will go as long as he can be in class with his sister, but he is not going to class alone. (Lovely how the 4 year old calls the shots).

So anyhow, we get to church and wouldn't you know it he has to go to the class by himself, and the girls go to a different class. In the beginning he is shy and has his head down, and won't speak to anybody, and of course the DW is heart broken. Now me, I think it's good for him to be by himself a little bit. He doesn't get much social time without his sisters. After all it's good for all of us to get out of our comfort zone every now and then, but as a parent you want your child to be happy, and feel secure. So to see him upset made me a little upset as well.

So anyway throughout the service both the DW and I were worried about the little guy. Now here's where I think it's just not fair for us parents. Of course I start thinking what if he's miserable? What if this scars him for life? What if he grows up and forever remembers the time when he was four and his parents "left" him all alone in some strange room with strange people, and he was "forced" to interact with other little boys and girls? What if one day he's relaying the events of this horrible day while laying on a couch being charged 120 bucks an hour? What if it's worse than that? What if one day he's giving an interview to Bill O'Riley while behind bars and all he can come up with for "why" is because of the events of today. On the other hand, what if we don't leave him alone and he ends up some creeper who's issues are related to being "clingy" as a child? Again, darned if you do, darned if you don't.

After the service is over the DW and I both head back to the classrooms to pick up the clowns. As she looks in on mini-me just positive she's going to see him sitting by himself upset maybe even crying, she sees him smiling and dancing around the room. What's this? He's happy? We made the right choice? Woo hoo. Yeah for us.

When I finally get a chance to ask him how his class and lesson was he is super excited to show me a picture he colored specifically for the DW and I. Now don't get me wrong. I believe that leaving him in children's church is the right decision. Like I said, he doesn't get much social time by himself, so I think it's good for him,  but these are the things that drive us parents crazy, and quite frankly are just not fair.


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